Neverland

sixteen

I was five pages into my journal entry for the day when I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in!" I called from the bed.

I paused my writing and glanced up from the page to see a perky brunette entering the room with careful steps, gripping a steaming ceramic bowl.

I smiled and closed my journal. "Hi Louis."

"Hello love," he cheered, "I come bearing your complimentary bowl of fish stew prepared by none other than yours truly." He set the bowl down on the stump beside my bed and smiled. "It tastes better than it sounds."

"Thank you Louis," I said, sitting up and crossing my legs. "By the way, I'd be happy to help in the kitchen whenever you need it."

"Really?" His smiled widened. "I would appreciate that a lot. The guys always end up dumping kitchen duty on me. It may be better that way though." He winked.

I laughed. "Yeah no problem."

He smiled and nodded curtly, his eyes falling to the floor. "So I heard you and Liam had a bit of a squabble."

I rolled my eyes, laughing at the word squabble. "I guess you could call it that. What is that guy's problem?"

Louis sighed. "Can I sit?"

I nodded and moved over on the bed to give him room.

"Liam has a lot of problems," he said once seated. He leaned his weight back on his palms behind him. "For one he loves control and order, borderline obsession really. It's what keeps him partially sane."

"Doesn't give him the right to be an asshole to everyone," I said, agitation seeping from every word. Liam had clearly gotten to me. As terrible as it was, he had achieved his goal of making a lasting impression. I hated myself for letting him win.

Louis laughed at my hostile tone. "No it doesn't, but you're not planning on leaving are you? Your brother seemed worried."

I slumped back into the pillow behind me as my mind mulled over how to respond. I had gotten over just about every reason I was an apparent "distraction" that Liam had thrown my way except for the last one. Harry. I had never stopped to consider the effect my coming to Neverland had on him. If it put a strain on him, he would never admit it. He was too prideful for that.

Liam said Harry only helped me out of pity. Hearing that nearly stole the air from my lungs in one clean sweep even if deep down I struggled to believe it. And as much as I wished it to not be true, I felt something for Harry, more than a friendship. Harry made my head spin and my heart pound in ways I never knew were possible. However, as Liam so eloquently reminded me, nothing could nor would happen between the two of us. Harry's heart was just as cold and lifeless as the pendant around his neck. As much as I loathed Liam for saying those things the way he did, I could not deny one word. Even the pitifully drunk Link Hart had warned me of the same cold heart.

Love was an idea too far off for Harry and I to even imagine, but the fact that it could never evolve between us still upset me. Beyond that, it upset me that Harry would never have it at all. I almost felt sorry for him until I remembered that he chose that fate for himself. I had a feeling he would never unchose that fate either. Not many people go through life trying not to fall in love. For most people, the promise of love is what pulls them out of bed, makes life worth living, but the fact was simple. Harry would never love me. And I feared the more I saw, the more I would fall for someone who was incapable of falling for me.

"I need to talk to Harry," I said and reached for the piping bowl Louis set out for me. I brought a spoonful of the stew to my lips and breathed in the smell. I was please to find the aroma appetizing, the familiar scent reminding me of chicken noodle soup and making me feel at home. The salty broth slid down my throat, racing towards my growling and empty stomach.