Always and Forever

Chapter 10: Smiles End

CLARKE POV
Another week of school. Another day to see my friends.

Lexa.

I think of her when I wake up and before I go to sleep. I always smile just thinking about her. When I see her, it's like everything around her blurs and a bright light flashes around her. An Angel. My Angel.

I go shower while I sing "Happy" by Pharrell Williams. Because I am happy. I get out of shower and change. I quickly make my way downstairs, grab breakfast and said goodbye to my mom. I drove off picking up Raven and went straight to Lexa's house.

Raven: someone's chirpy.

Me: today is a good day Raven!

I exclaimed. I see Lexa walking to the car and waving at me and Raven. She hops in and we drive to school. We arrive in school 10 minutes early.

Raven: later you dorks, i have to go meet my vice at the benches. See you at homeroom.

Lexa: so it's still early. Plan on anything to do while waiting?

Me: you're saying like we still have an hour more. We only have 10minutes you know that right?

Lexa: I know but maybe you know someplace.

Me: i know places, princess. But school first. Let's go to our room and talk there or read.

Lexa: nerd.

I laugh at her comment. We sit down in class while waiting for it to start. Lexa and I were watching videos from my phone when Cage suddenly walks in class. Great, his suspension is over.

Cage: i see you're still here, abnormal.

Me: i see you're still here, jerk.

I see Lexa scrunch up her face and wanting to kill him. If looks can kill, Cage is definitely dead with all the glares he's getting from the deliquents and Lexa. I told my friends and the rest of the class to settle down since Cage apparently brought more of his annoying friends. I can't help everyone if Cage and his jerk friends starts hurting everyone. There are too many. I stood up asking Cage to take this outside.

Cage: scared your girlfriend might see you get beat up, again?

Me: last time I checked, you were the one bleeding and crying like a baby in one punch.

Cage: Oh you're so on, Griffin. You think you're so tough? Huh? Well, I don't want to be suspended again, or expelled. Just wait til you get your time. Smile now, cry later, jerk.

Me: Oh, i can't wait.

I fake scare. Raven and Octavia was at door with the Principal. He asked what's happening and Cage and his friends just shrugged and left. The rest of the class agreed when I said nothing. Principal Jaha left before Mr. Titus arrived.

Raven, Octavia, Lexa: are you okay?

Me: I'm fine. Thanks

Classes went by smoothly. No sign of Cage anywhere. Maybe he stopped being a jealous baby. I told Octavia to go ahead and sit at the cafeteria since I needed to return a book at the library. As I walk to the cafeteria, I see the deliquents looking at me worriedly. I look at Lexa and she was looking down. I ran towards our table not getting bothered by how the students are mumbling things and looking at me

I sit beside Lexa and she moved. I was hurt and confused. She stood up and said sorry. I look at Lexa walking away. I asked what's happening to my friends. And they just showed me a photo. A photo of me and my abnormality.

I was born with a name Alex Clark Griffin. During ultrasound and when I was born, my parents thought I was a boy. As I grow up, it didn't feel like I was a boy. I got checked and gone through many tests. I was an Intersex. I am an Intersex. A female with male genitalia and hormones. My parents changed my name to Alexisse Clarke Griffin.

I tear up and can't move. My friends come close to me but i push them away. They know about it but the whole school doesn't. Lexa doesn't either. She must feel betrayed I didn't tell her. I got worried and hurriedly stood up to look for her.

I searched the whole school, no sign of Lexa. I went to the gym and hit every locker and wall I see. I don't care how my knuckles were bleeding badly. I can't feel the pain. All i can think of is Lexa. I screwed up. I lost her. I lost her before she is even mine. I let myself breakdown at the locker room, cried myself out. I drove off not caring what classes I miss. I wanted to get lost.

I got home and just locked myself. I tried calling Lexa. No answer. So i texted her.

Me: Hey, Lexa. I know what you saw. I'm sorry for not telling you. I wasn't ready. I plan to tell you, but not this way. I hope you understand. I really am sorry. I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore. Don't worry, the deliquents will be there for you. As am I. I will be here, no matter what. Even if you hate me, not look at me, if you need me, i'll be there. I really am sorry, Lexa. I hope you're safe, at home. Please be safe. Goodbye, Lex.

I cry again as I hit send. No response. I shouldn't expect one. I cry myself to sleep with the pain from my hands, still bleeding.

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LEXA POV
It's lunchtime. The deliquents and I were already at the cafeteria talking while waiting for Clarke. Suddenly, the whole caf was full of notification sounds including mine. We all check our phones. I hear gasps and 'what really', 'is this true?'. I look at my phone again. It's Clarke. With a male part? I was shock. Why didn't she tell me? Did she think I'll look at her less? I look at the delinquents and they look at me with worry. Raven wanted to say something when I get another notification.

I open it and see a voice record. It sounded like Clarke talking to someone. I put it in my ear so only i can hear it. 'I can't wait you know. Delicious. Mmm Lexa'
My heart skipped a beat. Did Clarke really say that? Is she only nice to me so she can fuck me? I tear up when suddenly I hear Octavia say Clarke's name. I see her coming towards me. I move aside and leave.

I can't face her. Not anymore. She sees me as a sex object, nothing more. I ran away calling my dad to pick me up at the diner near school. I was sobbing and dad didn't bother asking why.

I arrive at home, brokedown at my room. I get a text from Clarke.

Clarke: Hey, Lexa. I know what you saw. I'm sorry for not telling you. I wasn't ready. I plan to tell you, but not this way. I hope you understand. I really am sorry. I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore. Don't worry, the deliquents will be there for you. As am I. I will be here, no matter what. Even if you hate me, not look at me, if you need me, i'll be there. I really am sorry, Lexa. I hope you're safe, at home. Please be safe. Goodbye, Lex.

Why is she texting me this? We're not friends. She's not my friend. I cry myself to sleep, feeling betrayed.

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End of Chapter 10.

People were telling me to put conflict. And so I did. Is this okay? A way to reveal Clarke's secret.
No one is abnormal. Everyone is special and unique. Be true to yourself, people judge, but someone out there loves you for who you are.
Also, don't be too quick. Talk. Communication is the key to everything.

Comment, share and VOTE pls. Thanks

xx lovelots
Alex