SMP Oneshots

Rain [ t ]

this is extremely old, probably around five months old. it's also very short, doesn't really mean too much to me anymore and i kinda just wanted it out of drafts. it's also... not really finished?  but i have something else im working on rn

main focus: travis

tw: slight drug usage
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Travis loved the rain, always had. It had been a constant in his life. It had been there to drown out the fighting that had filled his house. It had been there to help numb his face when he got punched for calling his "friend" a coward. When he had nothing else, he had the rain.

Travis was sitting on his steps, blunt in his hand as cold rain hit his back. He rubbed his nose, sniffling quietly as he brought the joint to his lips with a shaking hand. The smoke filled his lungs, making his head get light as he exhaled up and into the grey sky above him. He stared up at the clouds, rain hitting his face, forcing him to close his eyes.

He hadn't felt like this in a long time, but he wasn't sure what this was exactly. He's pretty sure he tried to explain it years ago, but he couldn't remember. He could also vaguely remember someone telling him that he was just sad. But that didn't seem right. Travis knew he wasn't sad, even if he wanted to cry, he wasn't sad. This was a different, this feeling, whatever it was, stuck with him and left him just feeling empty and tired.

He took another drag of the blunt, half of him wondering if he should even be smoking right now. It wasn't doing what he thought it would do, take his mind off everything and maybe make things just a little bit easier to deal with. No, instead it was making him just almost hyper aware of everything that is going wrong, making the awful feeling he was feeling just ten times worse. Maybe if Travis was just slightly smarter, he would put it out and go inside to sleep. But he wasn't, so he kept smoking.

The rain was coming down harder, wind hitting Travis causing him to shiver. His sweatshirt was completely soaked now, and his curls stuck to his skin, reminding him that he should maybe cut it. He whipped his face, trying to rid it of the water that was rolling down his cheeks. It took a few seconds to realize that he was crying, and the realization made him want to laugh. How disconnected from everything do you have to be to not even register that you were crying.

I guess however disconnected Travis was would be the answer.