Cursed Hearts | ATEEZ

012

I had gotten absolutely dead drunk with one of The Eight Kings of Haelan, I realized, closing my eyes for a moment as the small world inside the wine cellar, warm flickering lights, and endless bottles and barrels of wine spun around me, wanting to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation but instead, all that escaped my lips was a heavy sigh.

"How does it feel to be unable to die?" I mumbled, looking down at the King of the North whose head was resting in my lap, Hongjoong's eyes immediately fluttering open at my question as his grey eyes focused on my face, his features flushed in a soft hue of peaches and secrets as I lazily ran my hand through his cerulean blue hair, tugging at locks made of oceans and the sky itself.

"It's a nightmare," the king admitted, hesitating for a moment before continuing, "It's a- it's a curse," he said, choking on the word as if he had barely been able to say it, "Watching the people you love die, forced to live forever and yet not being able to live at all. All because the heart wants dangerous things."

"The heart wants dangerous things," I repeated, remembering that Jinae had told me the exact same thing before disappearing into the shadows with Nari earlier.

"What-" I cleared my throat, running my hand through the king's hair again as I watched his eyes close in content, "What did your heart want, then?"

When the King of the North's eyes opened again, the look within them changed to something almost like pain, a flash of guilt flickering across their stormy grey depths as he said, "Love," the word sounding heavy and treacherous. "Isn't that always what longs for?" Hongjoong sighed, the comment sounding bitter though I heard the misery in his words loud and clear.

"Are you afraid of love, then? Of loving someone knowing that you will outlive them? or-" I paused, "or are you afraid that no one will love you?"

A strange sort of silence fell over us as the words slipped past my lips, both of us holding the other's eyes as Hongjoong contemplated an answer and I anxiously awaited mine.

The king slowly sat up, turning to me with a look of wonder and awe, "I am afraid of many things, Yuna, most of the fears being things I brought upon myself, upon my kingdom and my country, but what about you? What are you afraid of?"

His question caught me off guard but I already knew the answer, "Death," I admitted, my voice coming out small and shaky as the word left my lips, "I am so, so, afraid of death. I'm afraid of dying, and I'm afraid of Taeyong dying. I'm afraid for those who die as well, and the thought of the other contestants-" my voice trailed off as I took a shaky breath, realizing at that moment how I had pushed my fear away ever since arriving in the capital.

"I kept telling myself that everything would be okay as long as Taeyong lived," I said, watching as Hongjoong shuffled closer, his grey eyes no longer filled with fear or guilt but rather worry as he put a reassuring hand on my shoulder, the alcohol rushing through every vein in my body making me all the more sensitive to the heat that seeped from his fingers onto the bare skin where my robe had slipped down my shoulder. "But it's not. everything is not okay. I'm not-" I choked.

"Yuna," King Hongjoong whispered, moving even closer to me as he moved his hand from my shoulder to my cheek, cupping it with such care, with such tenderness that I could barely look him in the eyes before continuing, feeling tears well up in my eyes, and cursing at the amount of wine I had drunk.

"I want to live as well, but I made a promise to myself. He means the world to me, and I can't live in one where he's not here with me. I would sacrifice everything for him, for the others, if it meant that they got to live, but I'm so, so scared-" my voice broke before I got the chance to finish my sentence, a sob escaping my lips as Hongjoong pulled me against him, wrapping his arms around my body which suddenly seemed so small and frail in his embrace as I let my tears wet the fabric of his royal robes.