LOVE SICK : The Chaotic Lives of Blue Shorts Guys

CHAPTER 49: TWO LITTLE WORDS

I spent the rest of the day obsessing over what kind of a punishment I deserve and what I’d need to do in order to earn Phun’s forgiveness. I admit that it was terrible of me to have hurt him like that. I thought about what happened on Saturday, when I told Om–right in front of Phun–that we were just friends. And that was after Phun had built up his courage to ask me to be his…boyfriend. Yes, that. (I’m still not used to that word. It’s so ticklish.) Phun even got over that and was being nice to me but then I hurt his feelings again in the afternoon when I acted like I didn’t want to be with him in front of nong Knott.

Honestly, how long will I keep being selfish like this?! Phun isn’t ashamed of dating me. I saw his friends teasing him about this but he simply smiled back at them. He didn’t seem the least bit bothered by this. unlike me. So I’m the one who’s not willing to accept him in my life, is that it? That’s the complete opposite of how I actually feel though! Ugh, what do I do now?!

I’m lying down with a frown on my face while exhaling loudly over and over in the clubroom after school. There are some underclassmen hanging around since they have marching band practice. They’re preparing for the contest that will take place next week. But all these commotions are ruining my concentration!

I guess I was a little too obvious that I’m in a bad mood with all tsk noises I’ve been making because Film walks over and smacks me in the head. “If you want quiet, then why the hell are you in this room, ##########?!” We’re trying to practice, quit making those noises! You’re being real distracting.” Oh…I’m in the wrong again. He’s right about this. I quickly apologize to everyone in the room (since I was verbally displaying my annoyance and interrupted their practice). The underclassmen are a little taken aback but they accept my apology before they go back to focusing on their practice. Meanwhile, I still haven’t found a solution to my problem.

“What the ########## is wrong with you anyway? Are you on your period? That’s a good thing, ’cause it means you’re not knocked up.” ########## Film and his shitty mouth! Don’t I at least have one friend that won’t run their mouth off? I’ll make that person my friend for life.

I smack his head in return. “Like hell! I’m pretty good using the counting method. Seven days before and seven days after. Heh heh heh.” I play along with the joke and he lets out a roar of laughter. He turns to scold a drummer for missing the beats before he turns back to continue chatting with me.”

“Why the long face, man? Look at your buddy over there. He couldn’t be happier. I have never seen him being so stupidly cheerful like this before in my life.” Film tells me and motions his hand to where Om is. Om is sitting in the middle with all the wind instrument players around him. Heh heh heh. I smile, since it is true that I’ve never seen him this happy before either.

The thing is, Om may be a weirdo of a friend to me but the underclassmen all agree that he is quite strict. Pretty much his classmates and seniors can joke around with him with no harm done. But when it comes to the underclassmen, he’s completely focused on the tasks at hand and no one would dare mess around with him (especially the junior high kids). They’re scared shitless just seeing Om’s face. When he doesn’t joke around with friends, he has that grimace look to him. Kind of like everybody else, really. Sometimes, Om is better with handling these kids and keeping them in line than me.

I look at Om as he smiles to himself. He’s watching nong Mick play the french horn and teaching him what to do. It’s really surprising to me. You have it bad for that kid, don’t you? (In the beginning, I watched as Om scolded nong Mick quite harshly that the kid almost broke into tears.) He looks so ########## happy and I feel like searching for something to throw at his head out of envy. Whenever Om gets close, nong Mick’s face gets all red. He makes me wanna…hmm…separate the two out of bitterness. Ugh!