I have loved you since i was 18

Is all i want to much to ask?

JOSHS POV
"Yes, Claire, i am so excited to see you and to show you around. But Claire..?"
"Yes?"
"Would you like to join Olivias Birthday party. We are surprising her at our local Scateing area with her best friend from LA and i would like you to meet her."
"Uhm, yes. I would love to meet her. She sounds like a nice girl."
"Great. See you soon, bye."

In Joshuas trailer at work
The cast came over into my trailer to plan Livs 16th Birthday. Frankie and Joe booked a table at the pizza place in the location and the girls bought a big 16 and some cool decoration. Then i showed them the present: It is a small golden necklace with "freaky math girl" on it. Everyone went crazy. Her mom joined us and told us about Madisons flight and that she brings her to the location at 8. Sophia got a cake for tomorrow and i am super excited now. She is going to freak out and absolutely love it. I will take Claire to her birthday too. I hope she likes her. If not, i don't know what to do.

OLIVIAS POV
I wonder where everyone is right now. Maybe they are at set already so i am going there right now. I enter the east high and see a curly headed boy. Joshua. A strange feeling pulls up in my stomach. After last night  i feel like only he can make me feel save. I want to feel like this again so i walk right in front of him and just pull him in a tight hug. He pulls his arms around my back and whistles in my ear "Good morning Bud. Hope you slept well and weren't too shocked that i left before you woke up. I am sorry."
"Its ok. I knew you should have been on set earlier than me so i quickly knew where you were."
I pull myself out of this hug to look in his eyes. He smiles. there is this feeling inside of me that tells me to kiss him. But i cant. He is my co star, my lover in the show. Nothing has something to do with my life.

Today was a good day at set. I filmed some good scenes with Dara and Matt. They are amazing actors and friends. It doesn't feel like work, just like a game we play for fun.  After a few scenes Tim reminded me that my song should be ready in a few days. I haven't started yet, so i need a good idea right now. My mind is full of lines from the show but nothing is very useful. I pull out my phone... there is a missed call from.... Ethan. I throw my phone away. I don't care if its broke now, all i want is to be with Joshua right now and to feel real love that lasts. Wait? This is great! I pull out my scretchbook and write it down

All i want is love that lasts ...... is all i want to much to ask...... Is it something wrong with me?.... All i want is a good guy...

After writing for an hours, i think that i have finished. Its called All i want. It fits to the 4. Episode but it also fits to my life right now. Joshua, the boy i met at audition who cares about me, and Ethan, my ex who cheated and broke my heart so bad.
I already had the music part a few weeks ago and everything fits perfectly. I dont know if its good but it feels amazing to let all of my emotions out in only one song.

I sit in front of my small piano and start...

I found a guy, told me i was a star
He held the door, held my hand in the dark
And he is perfect on paper but he is lying to my face
Does he think that i am the kind of girl who needs to be saved?

And there is one more boy he's from my past {there is the part where is doesn't fit to my real life}
We fell in love but i didn't last
Cause the second i got close he pushes me away
And i wont fight for love if you wont meet me halfway

JOSHS POV

I enter my room and all i hear is Olivias beautiful voice. She sound like an Angel. Her voice is kinda high but she hits the low notes perfectly as well. She amazes me. I stop at the connection door, leaning against the wall.

All i have is myself at the end of the day
And all i want is for that to be okay

Applause. This song is amazing. She quickly turns around and stares at me

"Livy, this is amazing. Is it the song you wrote fo the show?"
"Yeah but i dont know if it fits"
I read the whole lines and stare at her
"It is Nini. It sound like she really wrote this song after breaking up with Ej and having Ricky in her house."
I ignore the fact that she wrote it while thinking about her real life. I dont want her to feel uncomfortable right now.

"Josh, wanna watch a movie or something else tonight? I don't want to be alone tonight."
"Sure. Do you want popcorn or anything? I need to go shopping later."
" Yes, i would love to have Oreos and Popcorn. I need this and my best friend tonight"
I just nod and leave the room

It still feels weird to call her my best friend and to be called like that. She is more than that for me. She is my rock and my sun, who lights up my days. I need her as my girl not as my best friend. But for now, it is the best to keep our relation ship  on this level.

We spent the Evening watching Stranger things again. Around 10 pm she fell asleep and i carried her into her bed. I left her room to sleep in mine, so that i can leave earlier tomorrow and pick up everyone. She will go to set with her parents. I am excited. What will she say? IS she going to cry, scream, laugh, be scared........