Secrets (wolfstar)

Part One

"So a new year at Hogwarts" the raven haired boy whispered to Remus Lupin as he linked their fingers together on their early morning walk around the lake. "Is this the year you finally tell your friends about us."

"What do you mean this year we only started in the summer." Remus said allowing their hands to link with a small smile playing on his lips. "What do you want from me Lukas."

The seventh year raven claw smiled at him clearly understanding Remus' scarcastic tone.

"Well you and your little mornoers-"

"It's marauders" Remus cut in.

"Whatever it's is" he said "you pretty much wrote essays to each other everyday. Yet you never mention me and when we get here and you try and sneak around. I am too good looking to be hidden away."

Remus chuckled at that and let Lukas tuck him against his chest as they stopped on the far side of the lake. The sun was slowing peeking up over the grounds. Making everything glow in a golden light. It made Hogwarts seem still, some how. Like the castle was just waking too. Remus had only returned to the castle two days ago, but already he felt like he had fallen into a rhythm with it all.

"What are you scared of?" Lukas whispered.

It was a fair question, and to be honest Remus wasn't quite sure. Since the moment he got up to the dorms first year he had known him and the three idiots already running around screaming would be friends for life. It had made him unbelievably happy, when in their third year the boys had figured out his 'furry little secret' as James liked to call it, and still wanted to be his friends. Sirius had wrapped an arm around him as he wept on the floor of the boy dormitory after he had been confronted with the boys research and hypothesis, and told him he wasn't a monster. He was the first person to ever tell him that. Even his own parents who loved him dearly, couldn't quite find it in themselves to say that.

That had also been the year for another realization for the sandy haired boy. A secret his friends hadn't yet found out. It started with a look, no different from the other thousands of looks his friend had given him. Remus sat next to Peter with Sirius next to James closer to the window in Charms. Though usually Remus enjoyed his lessons the looming full moon pulled his attention out the window. When he went to glance away he notice Sirius looking at him with concern, he smiled slightly and Remus returned it which caused a slight turning in his stomach unfamiliar yet not unwelcome.

Soon the feelings came like a tidal wave, and the thought of his friend never left his mind. He noticed him in a way he'd never noticed anyone before. He saw the crinkles in his forehead when he focused, the way his eyes glazed over if he thought of his family, the way he beamed when a prank was succesful. And he knew he felt differently about this boy then his friends. But just as truely he knew that the boy did not return the feeling. The only person who knew was Lilly Evans. Who was for one thing impossible to keep things from due to be keen instinct, and for any other walked in on him crying in a classroom Christmas of third year after finding Sirius under the misotole with a hufflepuff girl. They sat in that classroom for hours. It was the first time Remus uttered the words bisexual out loud. And Lilly showed no judgement at all.

Lukas had started as a happy distraction. Lukas' family and his had always been family friends. Taking camping trips to the north every summer. Lukas' and him had always gotten along well enough but this summer things started to change. Everything started to linger, the way the boys looked at each other, touches to the back or arm, even lingering in each other's tents till they fell asleep. Remus had some how plucked up the nerve to kiss him one night as they talk in Lukas' tent. And slowly Remus began to wonder if maybe he could get over Sirius after all.