I Don't Know Anymore

It won't ever be just one

Lindsey and I are sitting in his car in front of the band's house. He's patiently waiting for me to be ready and go in with him. If not a couple of important items that I have left in there, I wouldn't set my foot through the door, but I don't have a choice. And also, I'm afraid Lindsey will want to fight Mick. I turn to him taking a deep breath and give a little nod of my head.

Hand in hand, we enter the house and Mick wants to give Lindsey a cheerful hello, before he sees me from behind Lindsey. "What is she doing here?"

"She? This is a woman, you claimed to have fallen in love with, Mick. Show some respect."

"What do you want?"

"We're here to take Stevie's things. I also believe I've left my guitar in the studio too."

"You're going to need it when we come back to record."

Lindsey turns to look at me. "Go get your stuff." We share a brief kiss and I walk up the stairs.  

I don't waste time, picking up what I came here for and I'm on my way back to Lindsey, when I hear raised voices coming from downstairs. I rush back and they're no longer in the hallway, seems like I can hear them from the living room. When I enter the room, there's Chris and John too now. 

"Are you ready to leave?" Lindsey takes my hand in his when I come to stand next to him.

"Yes, there's nothing keeping me here any longer."

"You're not going anywhere!" Mick yells. "You!" He points at me. "You're ruining my life! Do you even realize that?"

"You don't get to say that!" Lindsey is quick to defend me. "You got bored of fucking her and you told her to leave the band!"

"For god's sake! Can't you even speak for yourself anymore?" Mick asks me.

"I don't have anything to say to you. You wanted me out, so let me go."

"I don't want to ever see you again, that's right, but Lindsey won't stay if you're not, so..." He takes a deep breath and exhales. "You can stay."

"Just who the fuck do you think you are, Mick? One day you love me, the next you can't stand the sight of me. One day you're firing me from the band, the next one you're saying I don't have to go! Make your fucking mind up, you asshole!"

"Get over yourself, I don't need you! You're not that special, Stephanie Nicks! Lindsey is who I need!"

"That's a load of crap and you know it, mate." We look over to John. "You should be on your knees apologizing for whatever stupid thing you told Stevie and begging her to stay. This band needs both of them or we're finished."

"I'm trying to tell her that, she just won't listen."

"What are you trying to tell me, Mick? You're insulting me, you're telling me I'm worthless! How is that you trying to make me stay?"

"You're listening to your fans too much, they made you to be this precious jewel, fucking eight wonder of the world!"

"Do you hear yourself?" Christine joins in too. "Mick, I knew you were an ass, but this is ridiculous! This band was dying and thanks to these two people Fleetwood Mac is back on top! How can you be telling Stevie we don't need her?"

"So what, all four of you are now against me?"

"When you're that fucking delusional there's no other way."

"Unbelievable! Let's all just praise princess Stephanie so she's happy and you lot will be too?" 

"She did nothing wrong, Mick. I think there's a completely different reason you're acting like this." Lindsey says, his voice strangely low. "And until you sort it out, things will be just as fucked up and nothing good will come out of this."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm sorry this has to end like this. I have nothing against you, neither does Stevie I'm sure." He says to Christine and John. "But you Mick... You're just a big fucking idiot, who ruined something very good."

"That's it?"

"I believe so."

"That's your absolute final word? Because you're stupidly in love with her, you're following her out from Fleetwood Mac?"

"I told you once, Mick, I'll say it again. It will always be Stevie and Lindsey. It won't ever be just one. We came in together, we're leaving together as well."

"You'll be crawling back to me, both of you."

Lindsey shrugs, putting his arm around my shoulders. "Keep telling yourself that."

"You're going to pay for this! You're going to regret you ever left this band!"

"Let's go." Lindsey ignores Mick's empty threats and leads me out, back to his car. "Are you okay?"

"As okay as I can be." I say, grasping his hand. "I love you so much, Lindsey. I can't believe you did that for me."

"It fucking sucks, but you're much more important." He kisses my hand, giving me a smile. "Where should I take you now?"

I think for some time. We need a fresh start to be able to go on with our lives. There's not a hint of humour when I turn to look at him, saying. "Rehab."