First Kiss, First Love, First Heartbreak

Chapter 2

My mouth tastes bitter, not because I see my ex, but because my brother made breakfast. I poke my eggs. The eggs don't just look rubbery, but they taste rubbery. Am I supposed to eat them? I leave my plate on the table and walk to my room, so I can get dressed for the day. I'm nervous. Today I'm going to see Jeremiah after two years. Two years. I read somewhere that the day you see your ex is the day you need to look your best, to make them see everything they missed out on. I'm definitely prettier now than two years ago, but I haven't really changed.

I grab my favorite hoodie and mom jeans and get dressed. I feel nervous energy running throughout my body. Is this normal? I grab my bookbag and car keys and leave. I've had a week to process that Jeremiah is coming back. A week definitely is not long enough. When I see him, I won't look at him. He doesn't deserve me, or my eyes. I stop by Lizzy's house to pick her up. I can tell she's worried about me. She brought my favorite snack, Chewy granola bars. I give her a small smile that's forced, and she does the same.

I've known Lizzy for what feels like forever. I've known her since I was seven. She knew me when I dated Jeremiah. And she knows how crushed I was when he broke my heart and left. So, she knows how hard today is going to be for me. She grabs my hand. "We got this." Yes we do.

Cole finds us as soon as we park. He runs to my car window. He opens the door for me and grabs my hand. I always feel safer holding his hand, and he knows it. I give him my best smile, just like I did with Lizzy. I lock my car, and the three of us walk to mine and Lizzy's first period. We take the long way, the ugly way. The sidewalk hasn't been cleaned since my mom attended this school, or that's at least how dirty it looks. The grass growing in between the cracks tells me I'm right. I have OCD, so I just have the urge to clean the sidewalk for the school. How does a school even let something get this overgrown? I lift my eyes from the sidewalk and my eyes meet his. Not Cole but Jeremiah. He knows that when I'm nervous I take the long way, he probably did too, so he could see me. He smiles, and I just look down and walk faster. He looks so different. Nothing like the scrawny boy I feel in love with. He looks grown. His brown hair has grown out so you can see the curls. His blue eyes bluer than ever. And tall. He's taller than me now, which says a lot because I'm 5'10.

I feel his hand on my shoulder, and he turns me around. We're facing each other. "Livi?" I look down.

I hear Cole's voice, but I don't hear him. "No, man, get a life." Jeremiah looks so hurt. Like I did all those years ago. He looks like someone punched him in the stomach. I have this urge to hug him and tell him everything is going to be okay, but instead I tighten my grip to Cole's hand and walk away from the boy who used to be mine. "See that wasn't so bad." Cole says as he stands in front of my first period. I nod but don't look at him in the eye. I hug him and he's off to his own class.

"Hey, Liv, just remember, Cole and I are both here for you. And Jeremiah can get some other girl because you're better than him. He hurt you, and you don't have to be nice to him. I know you have the feeling that you did something wrong, but you didn't. You're perfect the way you are." Lizzy knows exactly what to say and when to say it. That makes me feel better. I smile, a real smile.

"You're right. I don't need him, I have you guys, and that's more than enough." I focus my attention on the teacher until I see him, again. My heartbeat quickens. He walks in slowly and his eyes meet mine. They're so familiar. So normal. His stubble is there, just the way I like it, I mean liked it. His eyes release mine, and I look where he's looking. The only available seat in class. The one in front of me. No. This is not good. Maybe I can ask to be moved. Lizzy knows exactly what I'm thinking. She grabs my shoulder and squeezes it. Her way of saying everything will be okay. And she's right. It's just a seat. Jeremiah takes the seat that is in front of me and doesn't look back, just like I avoid looking at his head.