First Kiss, First Love, First Heartbreak

Chapter 7

I'm shocked when I see a bald Mrs.Taylor. She looks frail and a lot older than I remember. But she has the same warm smile. And the same big beautiful blue eyes that she gave Jeremiah. "Livi, wow, it's been a while. You look so grown up." She opens her arms, and like old times, I let her hug my worries away. She puts her hands to my face. "Wow, just wow. You're so tall and beautiful."

"Thank you, Mrs.Taylor."

She opens the door wider so I can go in. The house is exactly how I remember it. The same leather brown couch right when you walk in, the big television, and the fireplace. Nothing has changed, which is weirdly comforting. It feels like I haven't missed anything big these past two years. "I'm assuming you're here for Jere." I flinch at the nickname but pretend to play it off. I nod. "He's in his bedroom dear. You remember where that is?" I nod. I walk away and start going towards his bedroom. The house still smells like cranberries. Everything is the same. I slowly walk down the hall taking in all the pictures on the walls. Pictures of Jeremiah and I. Pictures of him and his mom. But none of his dad. I remember the other day when my mom said they got divorced. I run my hands over one picture. The picture that used to be my favorite. Jeremiah and I in the hospital the day I got the concussion. I didn't mind how ugly I looked. I just loved the way Jeremiah was looking at me. Like I was the only thing in the world that mattered. And to him, that was true, at least back then. He was just happy that I was okay. I was happy because I was okay, but I was more happy knowing the fact that I was in love.

I stand in front of his bedroom door. The same white paint on the walls that has been there since we started talking. I knock. "Come in!" I know he only says this because he thinks I'm his mom, but I don't correct him. I walk in to see Jeremiah taking pictures down, pictures of us. He's standing on his blue comforter that I chose when he redid his room. He's wearing sweatpants and a white tank top. He doesn't turn to see me. I clear my throat. He turns his head, and I see the shock on his face the second he realizes it's me. "Oh, uh, Livi, what are you doing here?" He pauses. "Um, sorry, do you still go by Livi or is it Olivia now?"

"Liv, but call me whatever you want. Lizzy said I should talk to you. What's that about? I know I didn't just drive over here for you to try to explain yourself and apologize, correct?"

His eyes get watery immediately. "No, Livi, I mean Liv, you didn't drive here for me to explain myself. I mean, yes, I am sorry for leaving when you said you, um, like me a lot, but that's not, um, why I came back. You can sit on my bed." I look at him like he's crazy. That's something I would've done years ago, but now I have a boyfriend. "Or the chair." I sit on the white chair, with wheels. "My parents got divorced. But they didn't tell me. After the day you, um, the day you left, my dad told me to pack my bags and that we were moving to Florida. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay because of you, but he didn't care. He got custody of me and wanted to leave. He threw my phone so I couldn't tell you." He looks down at his hands. I see a tear slip from his eyes. "My mom was recently diagnosed with stage four breast cancer, so I came to live with her. The doctor said-". I shush him lightly and grab his hand. It feels foreign but normal at the same time. I missed his hand. I missed everything about him. No matter how mad I am about him leaving, he will always hold a place in my heart. He was the first boy I loved.

I rub circles onto the back of his hand with my thumb. "Jere, you don't have to explain everything to me, okay? I forgive you, I just wish I knew sooner." Now I had tears. I wipe them with my free hand. "And hey, your mom is going to be okay. And I'm here, if you need me." I don't know what's gotten into me, but I can't help but want to hold him and let him cry with me. I want him to know that I'm here, even if he broke my heart, because no one deserves to go through anything alone. I let go of his hand and pick up a picture of us kissing at a fair a few weeks before he left. I laugh. "Remember this?"

"Yeah," he laughs. "I remember that day like it was yesterday." That day was filled with so much fun. We rode every ride at the fair. I even got sick on the big rollercoaster. Like really sick. Because he convinced me to go on a ride, even though I always got sick on rides. We ate hotdogs and popcorn right before the ride. I told him it wouldn't end well, but he said that I just had to live and try something that I wouldn't usually do. I trusted him and went on the ride. It didn't end well for either one of us. I threw up on him.

Changing the subject I ask, "So... how was Florida?"

"Hot." I laugh. "But it was awesome. I went to Disney with my best friend, and girlfriend, and we rode every single ride." I don't know what I thought, but I was upset to hear he had a girlfriend. I forgot that he wasn't mine anymore. "The beaches are really cool, nothing like here. And the weather was always warm, no matter what." I nod. The two of us always wanted to go to Disney for the first time together, but he probably doesn't even remember that. "How was the two years I was gone?"

I bring my legs to my chest and suddenly become self conscious. I realize I'm wearing a cropped top and leggings that make my legs look extra long. "Um, well nothing big has happened. Matt got a girlfriend. Lizzy has had like eight boyfriends and I met Cole."

He laughs. "How have you been?"

"Honestly?" He nods. "I was broken for a long time." I look down. "I just didn't think I could ever like anyone again."

He goes to grab my hand, but then he plays it off like he was just adjusting his position. "I'm sorry about that. Like really sorry. I never wanted things to end like that. I mean never even wanted things to end. This is random, but do you want to swim?"

I start cracking up. "Jere, it's fifty degrees out."

"So? We swam when it was snowing, remember it's heated."

"I don't have a bathing suit." He stands up and shuffles around in his closet.

He comes out with a blue and white polka-dot bikini. I forgot about that. I left it here one summer day. "Yes you do. I mean only if you-" I take the bathing suit before he can finish his sentence. "Oh, okay. Well you know where the bathroom is." I nod as I walk out of his bedroom. I didn't tell Cole I would be here, because I didn't think I would be swimming with my ex, but nothing is happening so what's the big deal?