sweet sin (the devil all the time)

12. fireflies

"Oh lord" emma cried gripping her bible, I swallowed hard gripping arvins hand, "theres just some things we cant understand"

"But take her into your arms" emma let out a sob bending down infront of the casket

"Aint somebody sayin prayers or..." earskell wiped his mouth, arvin glanced at him then helped his grandmother up by the arm putting his arm around her

I looked back at the church, your an asshole i truly hope you know that, i narrowed my eyes at the empty spot where my father usually parked

Arvin gave my hand a small squeeze before letting go to hug his grandmother, i looked down at the casket, i really didnt deserve you as a friend, i dont deserve how good your family has been to me, i shouldve tried to help you more

Arvin held out his hand and i took it was we walked back to the car

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I walked up the road seeing arvin coming back from work, he smiled at me cigarette in his mouth

I heard the truck stop and turned the corner seeing arvin talking to an officer, i wrapped my arm around arvins making him jump "sorry" i said quickly looking between the 2 "is everything...is everything okay?" I asked confused

The officer nodded at both of us and walked away "arvin" i looked up at him

He shook his head running his tongue over his teeth "lets go ill drop you off at home" he started walking toward his car

"I just walked from there arvin whats happening?" I tried and failed to stop him from moving

He opened his door and got in the drivers seat, i got in the passenger sliding into the middle "arvin" i put a hand on his arm

He gripped the steering wheel "slone" he snapped

I pulled my hand away quickly "can you talk to me?" I asked softening my voice trying to catch his eyes

"No" he shook his head reaching forward turning on the car, I turned it off "what are you doing?" He asked

"Hugging you" i moved to straddle his lap holding him tightly

"Slone please" he weakly tried to push me off, i hugged him tighter, he hesitated but hugged me back "please..." he cleared his throat "please dont leave" he mumbled

I pressed my lips to the top of his head "you cant get that lucky" i closed my eyes

"Leonora was pregnant" he held me closer to him

I froze up for a second "o-okay..." i stuttered

"your father hurt leonora slone"

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"your father hurt leonora slone" the words echoed in my head as i washed the dishes, i want to murder him, i want to hurt him as bad as he hurt my best friend

"Uncle..." arvin paused "you have to be good to grandma" i stopped moving the dishes "you notice she aint been out of her bed since the funeral?"

"Yeah" earskell responded

"Grandma needs you alright?" Arvin asked seriously

I wiped my hands off on the tea towel and opened the back door "room for one more?" I asked

Arvin nodded, i sat down beside him "dont tell emma" i said sarcastically taking a drag from the cigarette in between his fingers

"Night kids" earskell stood up stretching before going into the house

"Fireflies are beautiful" i watch a few fly around the back yard "the humidity definitely aint my thing though" i put my forehead against arvins shoulder

Arvin took another drag from his cigarette letting out a breath "i really really like you slone" he put his arm around me

"I really really like you too" i yawned moving closer into his side

Arvin took another drag before putting it out "sleep over?" He asked looking down at me holding out his hand

I had started sleeping over here the night after leonora passed, arvin slept on the floor and i slept in his bed, his deep breathing was comforting to sleep with in the back ground

I linked my fingers through his "only if we can have a pillow fight" i pulled myself up standing infront of him

"Ill make some arrangements" he said sarcastically and smiled at me opening the back door

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I came into his room wearing his tshirt and a pair of his pants "you know something?"

"Whats that?" I put my clothes that i changed out of on the desk

"You wear my clothes better then me and i dont think thats fair" he crossed his arms looking at me

I flopped back in his bed looking up at the ceiling "your pants are so much more comfortable and look" i stuck my hands in the pockets "good pockets!"

Arvin shook his head flopping back beside me both our legs off the side of the bed "i want to muder him" i confessed yawning "he preaches an eye for an eye and god i want to murder him"

I moved to lay on the bed normally, arvin put his head on my stomach "theres alot of no good sons of bitches out there" i quoted arvin running a hand through his hair

He turned to look at me "i really hope you get that dream job and the 4 chairs and the bay window" he took my hand from his hair kissing the top of it, he moved to lay on his side facing me lowering his voice "and im really glad your not like anyone else in this damn town" he whispered kissing my forehead then pressing his forehead against mine

"I hate most things, you are not one of them for some reason" i looked up at him "its horrible really"

He laughed "sounds horrible"

"Goodnight arvin" i yawned

He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear "goodnight sony"

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