my dear //drarry\\

Break even

Self harm and eating disorders

H A R R Y S P O V
I wake up. Heartbroken. I get out of bed and get dressed. I walk down to the great hall when I get there I see dracos eyes land on me he stands up and starts walking towards me. I turn around and walk back to the common room but dracos faster then me. So he grabbed me by my wrist

"hi baby" he pulled me closer to him

"malfoy" I spat. "What. Ok so how did you sleep"

"fine"

"ok. Um how are you"

"I'm fine" I ripped my wrist away and he looked me in my eyes

"are you mad at me" he asked softly

"yes I saw you...."

"You saw me what" 

"kiss Astoria"

"I didn't she kissed me-"

"Draco maybe we aren't meant to be. I'm sorry but we fight to much. Go be with Astoria and  Yes this is a hard to say but it's for the better. I love you malfoy" I kissed him and walked away

"I-it's because I have the dark mark isn't it"

"no draco it's not. It's because you can't seem to get happy. I will always love you no matter what you have on your arm or your face or anything for that matter. If you want Astoria be with Astoria." I kissed his cheek and walked away. I walked into the great hall and sat next to neville who didn't seem to see me until I sniffled

"Harry you alright" I shake my head no

"what happened"

"I broke up with him." He hugged me

" I'm sorry Harry I know how much you loved him. But food always makes me feel better"

"no thanks neville I-I'm not hungry" I lied. Fuck. I laid my head in the table and Neville rubbed my back. I stand up and see Astoria.

"Astoria" i say she looks at me

"yeah what's up"

"you like dr- malfoy. Right"

"yeah How'd you know"

  "just a guess but um treat him well ok."

"Ok?" I then walked away and started crying again. All my hopes and dreams. Gone. Slipping out of reach. I was still crying. When laid down on my bed. Still crying when Sirius came to mind. Still crying when hedwig brought me a letter. Tears falling on the letter that read

Harry
        You don't need that cheating son of a bitch malfoy I love you Harry I know you love him but sometimes that doesn't work out and you need to move on. Holiday is coming up soon and we can't wait to see you again
       Love, padfoot and moony

The letter only made me cry harder I just want to go home. But I have to go to class. So I get up and walk to transfigurations and when I walk in Professor McGonagalls head snaps towards me

"mister Potter do you have a reason you late"

"no" I said sadness laced in my voice

"ok be on time next time. Five points from Gryffindor" I nod and sit next to Hermione. She can see the tears welling up in my eyes. But I keep them in

"Potter come here. Class dismissed"

"yes professor"

"how did it go with malfoy" my heart broke

"fine for awhile then he did something. Mentally. And it really hurt me so I kinda ended it" 

"I'm sorry I thought you guys would have made a great pair" I nod

"I can I leave now" I walk out and see Neville standing there

"so you ended it"

"Yeah I did"

"how do you feel"

"like shit"

"I mean you where crying for awhile so it makes sense" He says. I saw that It was raining

"I'll talk to you later neville" I said as I walked to a tree and sat there my back to the tree when I see Hermione and Ron looking around her eyes land on me and she runs over to me

"Harry there you are" she said I looked up to the sky and saw it was Gray

"it reminds me of dracos eyes" I said as I started crying again

"you ok mate" I shake my head no

"NO MERILN FUCK DAMNIT IM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING ASKED THAT. Jesus"

I said as I put my head on my knees and started balling. Hermione went to put her hand on my back

"NO DONT TOUCH ME" I moved away

"dont yell at her like then man"

"you fuck off ron you don't know what this feels like"

"fine if you want to be a stupid git and not talk to us I'm not trying anymore" he stood up and walked away

"I'm sorry..." I said

"it's ok harry I'll go talk to him" then she left I was alone. I knew that I would always love him but he doesn't love me. I miss him but it's for the better. To make him happy next thing I know is that I'm throwing up and there's blood running down my arms. I really can't live without him.

"Yeah I was all- OH MY GOD HARRY" Seamus yelled I guess he had walked in and saw me bleeding

"shit Harry how did this happen"

"I-I don't remember. I guess I kinda blacked out"

"Harry let's get you fixed up" he and dean helped me to the hospital wing when I got there I saw draco sitting with Blaise. My arms caught his eye because he shot up and walked towards me.

"What happen-"

"fuck off malfoy" Seamus spat. Draco jumped I'll tell you later I mouth he nods and sits back by Blaise madam Pomfrey walks in she looks at me and gasps

"Harry what happened"

"I don't remember. I kinda blacked out" 

"Harry did you do this"

"I mean I guess I don't know. Probably" she breaths out.

"Ok I'll help you this this up. Seamus and dean get to class" they nod and they left.

I get up after she finished. She wouldn't be able to get ride of the scars. That's fine. I'll hide them. I walk out and I'm pushed into closet. It's dark. I fell someone's lips on mine. I knew these lips to well. I kissed him back. And wrap my hands in his hair. He pulls away

"Harry-" I cut him off by laying my head on his chest

"don't ruin the moment" I cry he just hugs me. I lift my head and look at him with tears in my eyes 

"Harry I never cheated on you"

"Draco I know. I know. But it's not about that anymore it's that Astoria won't stop until she gets what she wants. And she wants you. It's about all the disagreements and fights we have. It's that your family wont except us. But your always welcome in my arms. There will always be a spot in my bed for you draco. I love you and-and I know it looks like i don't but I'm doing this because I love you."

I was crying again

"I love you too" I pull away and walk out of the closet,run outside and ball by the lake.