𝑀𝑖𝑑𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 // 𝐞𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐱

4

𝗠𝗮𝘅
at lunch, i sat with the whole party (mike, lucas, dustin, and will) but it felt as though i was only with el. we didn't really talk, occasionally we would giggle with each other at absolutely nothing, but other than that, we sat and stared in to each other's eyes. i think mike noticed, he seemed uneasy, but i heard lucas inform him that sometimes "girls just did that."
i didn't eat anything. i couldn't focus on anything (including food) other than el's beautiful eyes. like forests in winter, full of bare tree trunks, so deep and indulging.

time skip

"so..." will nudged my arm with his elbow as we walked to class. "so what?" i responded
"oh, come on max! don't play dumb! we all noticed you and el at lunch..." will elbowed me again, "you know you can tell me if your not str-" but before will could say another word i had a hold of him by the sleeve of his jacket. i pulled him in to the janitors closet, so we could have our conversation in privacy. i figured it'd be best to tell someone about the big earth shattering crush i had on el. i had decided that's what i would call it: a crush. nothing more than a stupid crush that would go away in less than a matter of days. (a/n 😉)

"max what the fuck!?" will began to shout, but again i cut him off, because i wanted this conversation to go quickly, after all, the last thing i needed was to be late for english.
"ok will, i don't want to drag this out because we both have classes to go to, so i'm just gonna cut the bullshit and tell you..." i sighed to myself. was i doing the right thing? was i completely sure... 99%. and anyway, it was just will... "ok, yeah. i have a crush on el." will stared at me, his expression hard to read. oh shit what if he's homophobic?!? fuck fuck fu-

"max it's ok, i..." i looked at will, and he looked down at the floor, embarrassed almost. "i- i have a crush on mike." i could see will start to tear up, so i embraced him in a hug. i felt him whimpering against my shoulder, and my heart shattered. for both of us. "look will," i placed my hands on both his shoulders, forcing him to look at me. "it's not easy being gay in hawkins, and i can't imagine it getting easier any time soon. but..." i took a deep breath, feeling my eyes gloss over, "we're just gonna have to stick together. k?" i looked in to wills tired eyes, i wonder how many sleepless nights he gets thinking about all this shit? i thought to myself, if it was anything close to me, he would be exhausted 24/7, a feeling i was familiar to. "k." will replied with a sad smile. i put my hand round his shoulder and excited the janitors closet.

yeah... this wasn't gonna be easy for either of us.