Bind To

Chapter 14: Break-Up?

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It's a funny thing being unconscious, when you can hear the people around you but can't find the will to respond to them.

-She needs air-

-Isn't breathing-

-Let her go Jace-

-Not now-

-So close-

When you know that you're going to die, but feel nothing. It's like floating away from everything. Before Clary had gone unconscious, her mother had flashed before her eyes repeated something that she had said long ago.

"Do not give up, Clary. Look at how far you have come!" Her green eyes, matching Clary's had shimmered with tears, but in the moment Clary had been oblivious to what was about to happen. Another time, when they had sat on the bench in Central Park just talking and laughing together. In that moment, there was just the two of them. Nothing to worry about, nothing to fear. And it had been perfect.

Now here she was, lying somewhere within the Institute with voices around her. Although the voices were like wet paint on a vertical canvas. They smeared together making it impossible to understand what they were saying before it all halted. Clary smiled to herself at the peacefulness that she had received, now at least her passing would be quiet. But her mother's voice echoed throughout her brain.

"Wake up Clary!

Do not give up, you can do this!

Stay!

You're almost there!"

Another voice joined her mother's:

"Stay with me, Clary!

Don't you dare leave me!

Please!"

"There is nothing we can do, Jace. Just let her go, we tried our best."

"I wi- wait, she moved!"

Clary shifted her finger slightly, the voices sharpening to normal. She hurt everywhere, it was almost as bad as Valentine's beatings.

"Clarissa, can you hear me?" A deeper, unfamiliar voice questioned.

"It's...Clary," she forced out.

There was a chuckle to her left and she slowly cracked her eyes open to peer around. She was lying, once more, in the infirmary. The Lightwoods, Jace and an unfamiliar man with cat eyes were bent over the bed to look at her. She knew the laugh had come from Jace, as had the encouraging words, but why was she awake. Maybe this was heaven?

The man with cat eyes suddenly pulled back and Clary caught sight of the blue sparks sprouting from his fingers. Clary jumped towards Jace as Alec began speaking.

"Put your hand down Magnus, you're scaring her!"

Magnus, she presumed, lowered his hand slowly.

"I have not finished my job Alexander. Now please, someone pin the girl down."

Clary tensed and attempted to sit up, but was met with resistance. Jace had moved with the almost inhuman speed that only Shadowhunters and vampires seemed to possess. It was only then that Clary noticed the somewhat awkward position they were in. Jace sat on top of her legs, straddling her hips. She found herself scanning his body before coming to his face where his ever present smirk was curved on his mouth.

"I like this position, don't you?"

Clary just stared at his as he bent down, his minty breath fanning her face and his lips millimeters from hers. She froze, staring into his golden eyes. They were close, too close. And still Clary couldn't manage to make her thoughts focus. Suddenly there was a stinging pain against her left shoulder. She jumped, causing Jace and her lips to brush against one another. Clary jerked away from him and pressed her back into the bed. Then the burning was gone, in it's place was a feeling of relief. Her body didn't seem to hurt as much as before. Jace moved over of her looking unfazed the the recent occurrence of events.

"What happened?" She whispered.

"The demons attacked and one advanced on you. Ichor got everywhere on your body, which is why your clothes are once again in tatters. If you had just listened to me, this wouldn't have happened!" Jace glared at her.

"Jace, that's no way to talk to her!" Clary was shocked to find Maryse standing up for her.

Jace simply rolled his eyes, "Can i have a couple minutes with her? Alone?"

Clary looked at the faces of those around her bed and saw hesitation. She have hoped that they would stay, but slowly everyone left until it was just her and Jace.

Clary sat up and angled her body away from him.

"Why didn't you listen to me?"

She shrugged.

"That isn't an answer."

"I don't care." She wasn't in the mood for him to be a jerk.

"I deserve an answer."

"What makes you think that?"

"I have yet to turn you in, although I easily could have."

"And why haven't you Mr. Herondale? I'm sure there's a reason."

There was silence for a few moments and Clary stood up, walking to the door. She stepped out as Jace began speaking.

"And where do you think that you are going?"

Clary continued walking, but heard Jace's footsteps following her as she neared the Institute doors and heaved them open.

"Away, I'm obviously not wanted nor needed here."

"I'm glad you were smart enough to recognize that." Jace sneered, his voice laced with anger.

Clary flinched at his words and quickly walked out.

She recalled another time, a long time ago in her reading days. Break-ups always went something like this. Fights and leaving and the girl always had some sarcastic come back or was sobbing. Clary would do neither. She wasn't sarcastic and had already cried out all of her tears. And this wasn't a breakup, so why did it feel so much like one?