one night stand // Luke Hemmings

lukes view

I hate myself. I hate myself more than anything in this whole entire world.

I changed, only because of her. Mia changed me, and I couldn't have been happier. Then I made the biggest fucking stupidest mistake of my fucking life and I fucked everything up.

No one believes me, but I wouldn't believe me either. I'm a complete asshole.

I'm going to explain everything. Then you can decide for yourself, your own opinion.

The first time Mia and I had sex. I loved it. But back then, I didn't want to love anything. I didn't want to get attached, because I was my own person. And I knew I hurt other people and I didn't want to hurt Mia anymore than I already had.

But I couldn't keep away from her, I wanted to, but every time I got drunk I always crawled back to her. She made me happy, but only now do I realise that. Now that I've lost her and I know there is no way of fixing this. I'm lost.

The night that Mia nearly got raped. That night was when I realised I loved her. And I couldn't bare to loose her. I had to protect her.

I never forgave myself for letting that happen to her and I never will.

Because I love her.

Flashback.

The night we arrived back home, I went straight to bed. I lay there staring at the ceiling above me. Which was something Mia and I liked to do together. We would snuggle up close, talking about anything and everything, not having a care in the world. She would entangle her legs in mine, her head would lay softly on my chest and her small arm stretched across my body pulling herself as close as possible. My fingers would intertwine with hers and I'd stroke her hair softly.

But I never declared my love for her.

Because I was scared. I was scared of moving on. I was scared of changing.

But now I regret that. Because now it's too late to tell her I love her.

I did change. Even if no one else thinks I did, Mia and I both knew.

I stayed awake all night, and the next and the next. For 4 days I didn't sleep. I couldn't. Not without her by my side.

Two weeks, I sat in my bedroom, only leaving for something to eat.

I had to confess to my mum. I told her absolutely everything. She was fuming with me. But then we came to terms. And I'm so glad we did because right now she's all I've got.

One day i had enough and I picked up my phone for the first time in weeks and call the only girl I ever loved.

It rung a few times before cutting off. I knew she declined my call. But I didn't stop trying. I called again. Then again. But she didn't want to talk.

But I needed her. I couldn't go on without her. She taught me how to be me again. She saved me from being the dickhead I was always going to be.

But I messed up. So bad. And if I was her. I wouldn't forgive myself either.

I started to get more sad each day. No one wanted to talk to me anymore.

And slowly my thoughts ate away at me.

I lost it. I broke down. I screamed, I shouted. I smashed things. I broke things. And soon my room was just like me. A huge fucking mess.

My breathing increased and I cried uncontrollably. My mother raced up to my room and dropped to her knees at the sight of me.

My head was spinning and everything was going blurry.

"Luke!" She cried.

"Luke please, please don't do this to yourself" she wept onto my shoulder.

I cried hysterically into my hands, my breathing uncontrollably rapid.

She pulls out her phone.

I bet she's calling and ambulance.

I want to try and tell her not to.

But when I open my mouth, no words come out.

I cry and cry and cry and so does my mum.

I feel like I've disappointed her so much. Which is something I always do.

I hear a muffled knock on the door and my mum leaves quickly to go answer it.

I sit with my back against the wall. My head in my hands. Tears pouring from my eyes and my chest raising quickly. I rock back and forth.

I hear footsteps quickly stomp along the hallway and into my bedroom. I don't look up until I hear them say.

"Luke"

I look up with my puffy red eyes and before me stands Mia.

Tears stream down her pale face as she takes a few steps closer to me.

I look behind Mia to see my mum crying a little at the doorway.

She didn't call a ambulance, she called Mia.

The only person who can save me right now.

She drops to her knees in front of me.

I stare deep into her eyes and even with my blurred vision I can see how much I've broken that girl.

She stares back into my eyes before slowly reaching out and cupping my face with her small cold hands. She brings her face closer to mine, and our tear stained lips brush before she pushes herself closer to me, connecting our lips.

My breathing slows down, the tears stop and for the first time in weeks, I'm sane.

Her soft lips leave mine and her hands still stay on my face and I croak out-" I can't live without you Mia. I love you. I mean it"

She smiles a little before crawling in between my legs which are in a basket and curls up into my chest.

"I love you to luke hemmings"

This is officially the end of this book! I am currently working on another luke fanfic, called Experience, with a playlist! so go check it out!!

A huge thank you to everyone who has read/voted/commented!

I'm so glad so many of you enjoyed this and I hope you enjoy all my future work!!

And I hope you all like how this ended? Maybe we have to lose everything we have to realise everything we need?

Lyassssm

Byeeeeeee