Hope.

Chapter 4

By the time i get home Mum's in bed and Dad's on the phone. He puts it down when i come in.

''Who's that?'' Iask.

''Oh i was just ringing Cathy'' he says. Cathy is Miss Taylor.''Thought I'd take a couple days off work. Be there for your mum. I've set work for my classes and she'll make sure they get it.''

Good old Dad. It's just like him to want to be with Mum and help her through this. I go to him and give him a kiss. He ruffles my hair in his Dad-like way.

''Are you ok'' He asks

''Yep'' I say. Actually I'm not. Ali's reaction has freaked me out.

'Breast cancer. Your Mums got Breast Cancer?.. Oh no Jess thats terrible.'

It turns out her Gran died of it and sounds like, half the rest of the female population that Ali has ever come into contact with. Strangely enough its Debbie, Ali's mum, who comes to the rescue.

''She'll be fine, Jess.'' She says ''Give it a rest, Ali. Things have tremendously changed nowadays and your mum's as fit as a fiddle.''

I smile at her greatfully. I've never really rated Debbie much as a mum before. She's more like Ali's older sister. She never married Ali's Dad and she seems to fall in and out of relationships nearly as often as Ali. She and Ali got their bellybuttons pierced together. She's cool Ali's mum. But im seceretly pleased i have got the boring middle-aged parents. Who've been married forever and who spend their friday evenings binging on a bottle of wine and a week's video recording of coronation street.And no, in case your wondering, Mum wont let me get my belly button pierced. To be honest, I wouldent want it. I think its naff- or 'passe' and Miss Taylor would say. Anyway I have had enough exitement for one day, That's for sure.

''I'm off to bed Dad'' I say. He's sitting on the sofa and I put my arm around his neck. I kiss the spot where his hair is starting to thin, on the crown of his head. He pats my arm.

''Night love'' He says, and smiles at me and i can see that he's tired.

Poor Dad. Upstairs, Mum's fast asleep with the light on and her book open on the bed. I feel like getting in beside her like i used to when I was little but I don't want to disturb her. Insted I turn the light off and give her a kiss on her forehead. She moves her head and mutters somthing i don't catch. She looks really peaceful. Not like me. When I get into bed my head's reeling with everything. What a day! It's been the best of times and the worst of times. The witches' chant drums through my head:

'Fair is foul, and foul is fair...'

I lay there for what seems like hours going over everything. i replay again and again the buzz of the audition, the applause at the end of my speech, the cheers and whistles when the list whent up and the sensation of Muggs's lips on mine. It's one of the best moments of my life.Then i remember Mum dropping her bombshell and it's one of the worst. No, it is the worst. Cancer. Cancer's what old people get if they've smoked all their lives. Other people get cancer, not us. People die of cancer. Calm down. I tell myself, Cancer's a sign of the Zodiac. Thats all. It can't hurt you. But its the crab. It gets its claws into you and wont let go. I toss and turn. My bed is hot and uncofortable and I need somone to talk to. I text muggs.

'- I can't sleep-' I complain

Back comes the reply as quick as a flash.

'-Macbeth has murdered sleep-'

This morning I would have laughed at that. Now it spooks me out. What was it Miss Taylor said about Macbeth being the unlucky play? Tomorrow I'll look it up on the internet. I'll look up about breast cancer to.