The Mysteries of Merlin

The Hollow Queen and a Servant's Hollow Heart

A/N-This is how I imagined Merlin's conversation with Arthur would go after Daegal's death in "The Hollow Queen"

Merlin POV

"I still can't believe how lucky I was." Arthur sat at the end of the the table in his chambers, across from Gwen. I was getting their dinner ready as best I could, I had managed to get a word with Gaius before attending to Arthur. Gaius had thoroughly berated me for getting injured, despite my protests that it wasn't my fault. I had assured him that I was no longer under the effects of the poison, though I did have to walk with a limp. It was still painful but Gaius had predicted my recovery by the end of the week. "I owe that boy my life and, I don't know who he was, or where he's from." Finally! Something we are both unaware of! "We need to make sure we give him a decent burial." He may be a prat, but he's a great man, and an even greater king. "I'll do that, if you'd allow me the time." I gave Arthur a pointed glare as I set his food down on the table. Gaius had given me a cover story during his examination of my leg. "Oh, so you can go and visit that girl again?" What the hell is he on about? "What?" I deposited Gwen's food in front of her, trying to think of a way to rid her of Morgana's evil. "Girl." Arthur stretched out his syllables like he does when he's interested in something. He smiled at me, urging me to answer his silent request. I turned back to the small table where the pitcher sat.  I sighed heavily, from exertion partially, but from heartache as well. "Don't have one." I didn't bother to keep the regretful remorse out of my voice, the pain, the suffering. I missed her so much, yet I knew that one day I would see her again. And that fact comforted me, even if only slightly. "That's not what Guinevere tells me." My head perked up at this, how could Gaius have not mentioned that Gwen of all people had given Arthur an excuse for my absence. As I turned back to them with the pitcher in hand, I wondered what exactly it was that Gwen had said. She gave her husband an apprehensive, yet mischievous look. She tilted an amused smile in my direction, but I got the true message. If you don't play along, you'll regret it. That was my assumption, and I figured it was along those lines. "So, why don't you, tell us all about her." Ugh! What am I supposed to say? I poured him some wine, thinking as I moved on to Gwen's. "Right." I couldn't turn back now, I had to come up with something. I poured Gwen some wine, wishing there was a sedative in it. "And why you're walking with a limp." Damn it! I was hoping he wouldn't notice. Me and Gwen shared a silent exchange, with her almost daring me to be truthful. I would not give her the satisfaction of throwing me in the cells again! I decided to only answer the part about the limp, and in truth I wasn't really going to answer. "I'm walking the same as I always have Arthur." I wasn't sure whether I was trying to convince him, or myself. "All right, I believe you." My eyes widened at his words, that clotpole actually believes me? I stood right next to him, searching his face for any kind of trickery. He seemed uncomfortable under my gaze, so I turned away with a shrug. That would've been the end of it, but I felt something jam into my injured leg. HARD. I gave a small cry of pain and fell to the floor clutching my leg. It had been infected during my stay at the Valley of the Fallen Kings, so it wasn't exactly fresh and new. The pain dimmed enough for me to open my eyes, I hadn't even realized they were closed. I looked up to see Arthur hovering over me, a knowing smirk on his face. Gwen looked as if she was trying not to laugh, and I wondered for a moment if maybe she was really back. But her amusement was replaced with a sinister and cold glare, a look that said, Good. Arthur offered a hand to help me up, and I took it, putting all of my weight onto my left leg. I leaned on the table for support, keeping my ailed limb off the floor. "So you can walk can you?" Arthur mocked me, giving my shoulder a slight push. It threw off my balance a little, and I hopped in order to stay upright. "You don't have to bowl me over!" I was more annoyed than anything else, why could he never leave things alone? "And I won't, as long as you tell me what happened." Well that's not going to happen. Even if I could tell him the truth, I'm rather embarrassed that Daegal fooled me so easily. It was one of my closer gambles with death, and each one had left me more aware then the first. I shook my head, hoping he'd realize that I didn't want to talk about it. He simply sighed, and I thought he would let me off the hook. But instead he kicked my leg again, even harder than before. "Ow!" I sank back onto the ground. I wasn't on my back this time, I was sitting with my leg drawn up to my chest, trying to numb the pain. I looked back to Arthur whilst biting my lip, trying not to cry out for a third time. He seemed to finally realize just how painful it was, probably reminiscing the time he was shot in the leg by a crossbow. He muttered an apology and helped me to my feet once more. "You alright?" It was one of those rare occasions in which Arthur was genuinely concerned for my well-being. I gave him a sarcastic smile, "Of course, it's not like I can't walk!" I couldn't stop myself from yelling, I had had along day, and Arthur was really pushing it. "Sorry um, I won't kick the answer out of you, but will you tell me?" He seemed rather ashamed for aggravating my injury, but at the same time curious of my predicament. "Well you're lucky that I don't feel like arguing tonight." As I relented he jumped back into his chair, like a child awaiting a story. I shifted my weight, and hopped to where I was facing him. I decided to play the sympathy card, there was no way out of the lying, but maybe I could get some reprieve. "I did go to visit a girl, but I didn't tell you because I feared of how you'd react." He raised his eyebrows in confusion, urging me to continue. "She was a Druid." I waited for him to throw me in the dungeons for "conspiring with a sorceress". Instead he simply smiled and upon seeing my guilty expression, laughed! The dollophead laughed like it didn't even matter! "Merlin, after what happened with Elyan and the spirit, my attitude towards the Druids has changed." I widened my eyes in surprise, but I knew that I had a gleam of hope resting there. I wanted to ask Arthur why the sudden change of heart, but he stopped me short. "What happened then?" I thought for a moment, fabricating the lie in my head, trying to detect any faults or flaws. "I was walking through the Valley of the Fallen Kings with her, and we were attacked by bandits. She tried to stop them, and she did for a second. But one came up behind her and..."I trailed off, figuring he'd get the point. I remembered how he had drove his sword into her hide, how I'd been reduced to choosing between them. I would never forget her thanking me as she died in my arms. "One of them got my leg while I was fighting. There were a lot of them too, but before she died she managed to get rid of them. She was so selfless, for even as she was dying, she thought of me first." I heard my voice crack at the end, but I didn't care. I had hidden my suffering for so long, it was maddening. I let a stray tear fall down my cheek, noticing Arthur's sympathetic expression as it tracked it's way down my skin. I wiped it away, not wanting to appear weak in front of my friend. My best friend, I'd even go as far as to say, my brother. He pulled me into a hug, voluntarily. And for the first time since Freya's death, I was beginning to feel hopeful again.