Project Jamboree

Chapter Five

Jude sprinted for the bunks to grab Vida, and I followed Rob to Alban's office. The old man said, "Natasha. We've got an Op for you."

I raised an eyebrow, saying nothing.

"You're going to be a spy back in Project Jamboree," Alban stated as if he was reading a grocery list.

I froze. The world stopped moving. It was a general rule in the League that nobody mentioned Project Jamboree around me. Just the thought of going back made me want to curl up in a tiny corner somewhere and hide in the dark.

But to insist on sending me to spy on them- Alban was out of his mind. Right now, I was going out of my mind. My hands were shaking, but I couldn't feel it. My legs felt like jelly, and the world was spinning. Cole caught me before I could fall over. I was breathing heavily, and I could feel my heartbeat through every nerve in my body.

"Natasha," he whispered, "Calm down. Deep breaths. Ground yourself."

It was an excersize he had taught me that helped with panic attacks, because for reds, those panic attacks could potentially light a building on fire.

I forced deep breaths into my lungs and opened my eyes. Five things I could see. Alban looking concerned. Some books on a shelf. A map of the United States. A globe of the whole world. A pen in a pot of other pens.

Deep breaths. Four things I could feel. My heart beating in my chest. Fire threatening to spark from my fingertips. Cole holding me upright. The cold air from the air vent above me.

Deep breaths. Three things I could hear. Vida and Jude running up the hallway. My heartbeat. My heavy breaths.

More deep breaths. Two things I could smell. Old paperback books, that one that can't quite be duplicated by anything else. Faint smoke from a minty candle in the corner of the room.

One final deep breath and one thing I could taste. The slightly nutty leftovers of my lunch sat in the back of my mouth.

I blinked several times.

"Are you okay?" Cole whispered. I nodded faintly before he continued, "Are you crazy? Sending her back there?"

"She seems like she can protect herself. Rob said she's been training," Alban said, "She's getting stronger, especially with her abilities."

Cole was outraged, "Project Jamboree was designed for reds! You don't think it'll be fireproof?"

I winced at the word Jamboree, but didn't have another panic attack. Deep breaths.

"She's been there before, she knows the layout," Rob argued, "She's brave enough."

"She's-"

I interrupted Cole before he could speak for me, "Stop talking about me as if I'm not even here! If you are going to do that, I'll just go back to training."

The room froze in a stunned silence for at least a minute.

Rob spoke up, "It appears the scared little mouse has finally found her voice."

"This scared little mouse knows a few hundred remarkably painful ways to kill you," I reminded. I felt Cole chuckle behind me as Rob went quiet, paling slightly.

"What do you have to say?" Alban asked for my opinion as if the idea had just occurred to him.

I took a deep breath, "I'm not going. I would rather die than go back. That's all I have to say, and it's final." I kept quiet from then on.

"That doesn't cut it," Rob said, "Give us reasons. It's just a training program. What's your problem with Project Jamboree."

I closed my eyes at the name, feeling Cole grab my hand. He spoke, "Look at her. The moment you mention those two words, she pales, her breathing quickens, and her eyes widen. Can't you tell it scares her."

"We train kids to be brave," Rob hissed, "Not cowards scared of the words Project Jamboree."

I shuddered yet again at the name, clenching and unclenching my fists.

"There's a reason she doesn't speak!" Cole shouted, "Haven't you considered what kinds of things they did to her to do this to her?"

The room was silent yet again.

"I don't know what that program was like, and neither do any of you, so don't pretend like it's just something you can send her back to," Cole hissed, "She told you herself she'd rather die than go back. Does that tell you nothing?"

"While you have made your point, we need someone with inside information," Alban said, "Either Natasha will give us that information, or Ruby will extract it from her mind."

Cole spoke in that quiet, terrifying way, "You want to make her relive it? Imagine what Nick went through at Thurmond. Natasha was there around the same time, and then it got a thousand times worse for her just because she was a red."

"It is because she's a red that-"

I interrupted Rob, "You want to hear it from me? Fine."

They all motioned for me to continue. Vida and Jude had left a few minutes ago, waiting out in the hallway.

"Our rooms were small cages. They gave us food and water in bowls. They treated us like dogs. No blankets in the freezing white room. We were expected to use our abilities to keep us warm. But it was better to freeze. Whenever you used your abilities, it got worse."

I had their full attention.

"They dragged you to wherever you needed to go. They could beat you and hurt you whenever they wanted to. They enjoyed it. They ordered us to prove how strong we were, to melt various metals and create various flames. If we failed, they beat us and sent us back to the cages for days without food or water. If we succeeded, they made it harder so that we'd fail next time."

They seemed to not understand what the bid deal was.

"After testing us for a few hours, they took us to a room with a chair. They wanted to make us more agreeable. If we all submitted, we were given food and sent to the cages. If a single one of us didn't, they used electricity. They'd shock us until we complied. And then we'd have no food for days."

A look of shock erupted on Alban's face.

"Do you know what it's like to keep your head down because to look at a guard or to talk, to even breathe wrong will get you beaten so badly you won't be able to move the next day? Or to pray that everyone falls in line because I'd even one of you missteps, you all suffer? To be bruised, cut, and electrically shocked to within an inch of your life? To wake from nightmares to find that they're really daydreams compared to reality? Or to spend every moment of your life nearly shaking with fear?"

None of them moved to answer.

"No," I said, "You don't know what it's like. So when you experience a single one of those things, we can discuss this again. Until then, I have go get back to training."

I turned to leave the room.

"You weren't dismissed," Rob warned.

I turned around and dropped into a mocking curtesy, fire sparking on my fingertips as I did so, "So sorry, your royal highness. Now excuse me before I entirely lose control of the fire crawling under my skin."

With that, they let me storm off.

But I didn't head to the training arena. Vida, Nico, Jude, and Ruby would be there, and I didn't want their pity.

I headed to the bunks, furiously slamming the door behind me. I buried my face in a messy pile of blankets and pillows, screaming at the top of my lungs until my throat was raw and no sound came out.

Hopefully the bedding muffled the noise. If not, the others here were likely too busy to care.

A hand rested on my back, "Hey. Come here."

I leaned into Cole's arms, curling up into a ball as my head rested on his chest. With nothing else to do, I just sat there and cried until I had no tears left.