Chapter 6
The first thing my eyes landed on when I woke up was the clock. It was 6:58 in the evening, my eyes widened and ignoring the pain on my back I tried to get up, I had chores to do! Hopefully J hadn’t come home yet. God knows what he’ll do if he saw me still in bed. My hands moved to help push my body up. But before I could make another move a warm body was on top of me barely touching my sore back but hovering above me and a husky voice came into my hearing, whispering into my ear.
“Don’t move.” It was Jones, it was a command and I was terrified, his hands caressed my bum cheeks, trying to soothe them from their heat. I still tried to move away from him. I was mad, even though I couldn’t show it I was really mad at him. How dare he do that to me, he knew I couldn’t and I wouldn’t fight back.
“I said don’t fucking move” Finally I gave up and leaned back into the soft bed. I sucked in a deep breath when something cold was applied onto my sore back and my bruising thighs. It was some kind of ointment that smelt funny but after a minute I could feel the soreness beginning to peel away and soon my body felt like it was in bliss. He gently kneaded my things and rubbed my back, I turned my head to the side and his brows were furrowed, he was still trying to reign in his anger but yet he was being so gentle.
“I’m sorry J,” I whispered. Then I quickly looked away, I was scared if I had said anything wrong. I heard him let out a deep sigh before he reached over and entangled his hand in my hair and slowly turned my head to face him.
“Sleep Harley baby” I nodded and after giving him a deep passionate kiss I drifted into a dreamless sleep.
The next time I woke up it was three in the morning, I was drenched in sweat and the reason being the muscular body wrapped around me. I needed to use the bathroom urgently so with all my might I pushed his arm off of me and slowly slid my legs from his. J let out a groan and I stopped moving, my eyes wide hoping that he wouldn’t wake but all he did was turn the other way, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was even holding and carefully climbed off the bed. The cold wooden floor greeted my feet and I reveled in the sudden rush of coldness before as quiet as a mouse I scuttled towards the large bathroom. I flicked on a switch and a dim lighting turned on I sighed as I went to do my business, I was making my way out when my sleepy eyes flickered towards the mirror and as I was as naked as the day I was born I could see the welts on my body telling me that whatever happened last night was definitely not a dream I sucked in a breath before waking up a tad more and walking closer to the mirror. I leant my hand on the cold surface before stepping back and examining myself, my tongue peeked out to wet my dry lips and fearfully I turned around my head cocked back as far as it could go and there it was a million streams of red painted across and splattered all over my back the evidence of last night still imprinted on my skin. I gasped in shock, was it that bad? Yes, the welts had been painful and I even lost count of them but how had it been this bad. I guess Mr. J was beyond angry last night. It was the first night in months that we had run into Brent Wayne, that must be why and him seeing me wrapped and assaulted by Brent may have probably angered him higher a notch.
I closed my eyes and let out a stinging breath, I went over to the sink to wash my face, my eyes crusted with sleep. I turned on the cold tap and splashed cool water onto my oval face a few times before with a deep sigh I turned it closed, off. From the corner of my eye I spotted a razor must be J’s razor or had the housemaid left it there when she was sorting out through worn bathrobes and towels. A shiver ran through me. I remembered the days in high school where I cut myself to release any pain built inside of me, each sting, each hurt would steam out of the cut. But I had made it through high school; I had gotten into a great university on scholarship for my SAT scores and salutatorian status, but I had to admit I didn’t accomplish much, I wasn’t exactly proud of anything I hadn’t gone to continue doing my masters degree in my accounting and business. In university or in high school I hadn’t joined much school clubs either, neither did I have lots of friends just a bunch of close friends who have drifted away from me as we got on with work and family. I really wanted to see them, to contact them again to see how they were doing. My parents have both gone to use their retirement money and savings to travel, I wasn’t supposed to happen to them. They didn’t like kids, I knew I was a mistake but they tried hard not to show that, they taught me well and I have grown up well enough so I didn’t blame them for running off when I had grown older. Mom still called me sometimes to see how I was doing, but my dad barely talked to me. It was as if he was a stranger to me and sometimes I could see him look at me with pity, but I was happy that they were so proud of me when I was called out for being salutatorian and had gotten into Stanford.
The last time I talked to them was when I had to leave everything behind and become J’s, I had called my mother one last time to tell her that work was hectic and I may not be available as much, of course she understood and didn’t ask anymore but I had hoped she did, I had hoped that she asked me to quit and come home but all she did was wish me luck, told me she loved me and she would talk to me as much as possible but then she quickly hung up as she was late for dinner with friends. Next I called Harold, my ex-boyfriend to tell him that I missed him and honestly wish we hadn’t broken up because God knows where the next few years of my life would take me. Harold was happily engaged with a girl named Evelyn, I couldn’t be mad or upset we had broken up mutually and we both decided on it and even though we had promised to stay friends and always keep in touch we barely talked or met up, the reason was that we had a big future ahead of us, what if I had to go somewhere and he didn’t want too or if the opposite happened, what if we met other people or had a great business deal? Being attached to another person would make things even more difficult and great opportunities may slip away from our hands. My eyes started to turn glassy. What if I hadn’t broken up with Harold? Maybe I could have been engaged with him now and lead a completely normal life where I could actually have kids instead of indulging my spare time with Jones’ beloved dogs. Maybe I could have lived in a small little house with a white picket fence and have three kids running around and me and Harold sitting on a picnic blanket having the times of our lives, but of course life never goes the way you plan it to go.
My hands gripped onto the sink before I roughly grabbed a small towel and wiped my face with it, I grabbed the razor. Slowly I went over the large floor length mirror one last time and checked my whole body out, red welts could be found all over the place. This wasn’t the first time he’s done this, many more times he’s done it before but this has been by far the most painful. I closed my eyes and took in a thousand deep breaths and willed myself not to cry over the sting as I dragged the razor over my wrist, baby pools of blood started to sprout from the cut then fell over trailing down my arm, and then I began to start a second one it was deeper, a third one, much deeper but before the fourth the razor could barely graze my skin when it was ripped away from me and fell onto the floor, tiny drops of blood splattering all over the place. I watched horrified as J grabbed my wrist and trudged as fast as he could over to the sink, with a great and quick force he turned the cold tap and ran my wrist under the water, I yelped in pain before he turned the tap off, grabbed the towel I used to wipe my face and wrapped it around my wrist. I couldn’t say anything. I was too scared; I couldn’t even look at him.
“What in the fucking world were you trying to do?” I looked away from him, my wrist still in his hand. “LOOK AT ME” He tried to keep calm and I knew if I didn’t look at him he would probably burst into flames of anger.
“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU TRYING TO DO HARLEY?” he repeated himself louder.
“I-I-…” I stuttered but before I could finish my sentence he crushed himself into me, my small body engulfed in his huge one, his hands slowly caressing my back being careful with the stripes of red he inflicted.
“Don’t you dare do it again Harley, I’m warning you” I stayed quiet. “You know how much you are afraid of blood” Blood…that word, the images of red flashing through my head and then I was hyperventilating and before I knew it I was out.
