Unwanted Vigilante One-Shots

Chapter 2- Crackhead Hour

Prompt: I have challenged myself to make an entire chapter out of incorrect quotes I find on Pinterest.

Quick notice, only the dialog is from incorrect quotes, but I'll make sure that I do the entire quote, and that there is almost no dialog that's not a quote. The only reason some dialog wont be a quote is if it's to connect some.

Wish me luck

This is not cannon to the story, and they are in the dorms right now. This is not how the dorms are going to be in the actual story as I have not gotten that far yet.

~~~

I stand outside the class 1-A dorms with Shouta, about to walk in when I hear Mina talking to somebody.

"Yeah, I saw Bakugou beat the shit out of Kaminari. What a mood. We stan king. My wig has been snatched. He just yeeted him."

I stifle a laugh as me and Shouta walk in, nobody noticing us, and look over to see a very confused Tenya talking to Mina. 

He chops the air, "What does that mean?"

I give an evil smirk, and feel Shouta's glare as I walk over to the couch. "It means Kacchan has big dick energy." I say.

Everybody in the room- Tenya, Mina, Sero, Tsuyu, Shinsou, Shouta, and, of course, me- all burst out laughing except a very distressed Tenya, and a disapointed Shouta.

We keep talking about random things- Shouta only there to make sure we don't do anything stupid- until eventually Kacchan and Kirishima show up. Kaminari smirks as they both sit beside each other in the common room, and we glance at each other.

Kaminari speaks first, "So, Bakugou, is Kirishima the big spoon, or the little spoon?" He questions, still smirking. Mina has to physically hold down a scream.

"He's mostly just a pain in the ass." He quickly remarks, not understanding why most of the people either looked surprised- Shinsou, Tsuyu, and Sero-, started to choke- Kaminari, Mina, Kirishima, and Shouta-, or confused at everyone elses reaction- Tenya-.

I just smirk. He has no uses what he has just done. "Ha! I knew you were a bottom!" I say proudly. Everybody except him, Kirishima, Tenya, and Shouta burst into laughter. Kirishima and Kacchan are blushing like the gay bitches they are, Shouta looks like he wants to die(to which I say "mood"), and Tenya still looks confused.

I roll my eyes, "Sex, Tenya. We are talking about him being a bottom when they fuck." Tenya blushes and responds with a very quiet, "Oh."

"Well...," Kirishima starts, glancing at Kacchan who smirks at him. "I feel like my virginity is in danger." He states, causing everyone else to, yet again, get hit with a wave of euphoria.

"I spy with my little eye, something that begins with the letter 'S'." I say, sitting next to the window.

Shinsou smirks, looking over at Kacchan and Kirishima, 'Is it 'Sexual Tension'?"

I smirk, "Bingo!"

"S-stop! You're killing us!" Kaminari wheezes. I shrug.

Shouta sighs, leaving the dorm building. He's probably done with out shit. Whoops.

I let out a chuckle as I check the time. Seeing as it's around the time these bitches eat dinner, I decide to be nice for once, and make my way to the kitchen to cook something.

As I walk in I notice Tokoyami, Ochako, and Todoroki are all in the kitchen, as well as Shinsou since he followed me.

Tokoyami looks at me as I start to make Katsudon, "Is four a lot?"

I give him a questioning eyebrow. "Depends on the context. Dollars? No. Murders? Yes."

Ochako chokes as Tokoyami nods, "What a mad banquet of darkness.."

Shinsou gives a 'wtf' look before going back to his conversation with Todoroki.

About five minutes pass before Kaminari walks into the kitchen laughing his ass off.

"E-even after that comment they're still trying to convince us they're straight!" He says between laughs. I turn around and give him the most deadpan look I can muster.

"Kacchan and Kirishima saying they're straight is like my dad saying he actually loves me. THEY'RE BOTH LIES THAT NOBODY WILL EVER BELIEVE!"

Everybody else in the kitchen turns to me, looking both confused and worried. And, of course, Shouta ended up coming back to the dorms and into the kitchen right as I said that.

He's about to say something when Ochako quickly changes the subject.

"Let's talk about something else! Do you have a crush on anyone?"

Not missing a beat, "The only crush I have is my crushing anxiety."

Tokoyami nods and Shinsou adds a "same".

I swear Shouta is having a fucking heart attack.

Ochako, the poor girl, yet again tries to change the subject. "Let's- uh- okay! Positivity! It takes a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone!"

"Once my father forgot me in a parking lot." Todoroki says, looking her gay in the eyes.

And that was the day we killed Shouta by being depressed little shits!

Goodbye!

~~~

Original-

I'm gonna be completely honest, I have no idea what the fuck I just wrote. I hope that at least some of you laughed!

Goodbye my fellow anime lovers! <3

Added-

Before you ask, yes. Yes I did change "looking her in the eyes" to "looking her gay in the eyes".

I regret nothing.

Anyway, im finally transferring these over. I have most of them copied down, and I also have the ones that were done for me in the chapter log thingy. (I don't want to @ them and be annoying- but they are @ed in the chapters)

Goodbye my fellow anime lovers! <3