Breakdown // R. Bortuzzo

Letter #4

Dakotah,

No one really understands. I didn't really expect them to. Especially in this sort of situation. They all just look at me differently, scared I might break.

That's not normal for me. Most guys are scared when I'm on the ice with them. Well, not scared but something to that effect.

I don't think anyone understands how bad I want you back. Not necessarily in my life, just alive. See your parents smile again. Know that you're happy.

Maybe it's better for you now. No more hurting. No more worries. Being able to go where you want.

But I'd appreciate if you stopped screwing with the bathroom light when I'm trying to get ready for bed. I know it's you, telling me that you're there.

The first time it happened, I thought a light just went out but it still made me jump. The next morning I got the call. Thanks freaking me out. Making a grown man scream...

I can't even begin to talk about what I would do to get you back. Probably something ridiculous but I guess this is what you wanted, right? I hope so.

I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around this. You never really showed negative emotions but I never knew you were hurting this much.

You've never been one to walk away in the middle of a song.

Love,

Robert