Family member | Merluca

Part 2

„So, do you want to tell me, why you panicked?" he tried carefully. He wasn't sure if it was the right time to ask, but he wanted to know what made her panic, he wanted to be able to prevent it from happening next time or at least to notice sooner so he can be there for her. He also did not want her to feel bad for this. He knew she has been through a lot; she has lost many people close to her. So, she was allowed to panic, especially when it was about her kids. It was the time she had the panic attack what made him curious. It was after they told her, that her daughter was fine. She was very anxious before the diagnosis, but more like a mother who didn't knew what was going on with her child. But when he found her in the chair next to Zola worried, in tears and not able to control her breathing, at this point they had already told her that Zola was okay.

He added „You don't have to tell me if you don't want to" he did not want to push or corner her.

Meredith wasn't sure if she wanted to talk about it right now. On the other side, she wanted him to know, he was a part of her life now, and she wanted to let him in and open up about this to him, but at this moment she just preferred to enjoy his company without talking. „I'll tell you, but right now I just don't want to talk about it"

That was all he hoped for. A few weeks back they made an agreement, that both of them, whenever they need time or don't want to talk about something they will let the other one know. And when the time comes, they will talk. He held her tight and squeezed her arm while looking at her. Then he whispered „Alright"

.

Three days later

(Zola was discharged from the hospital two days ago. Besides her broken arm, she acted like nothing happened. Meredith took two days off, to be there for her. Andrew had a lot to work the last few days, but after his shift he came over and cooked for Meredith and the children.)

This evening he made pizza for the whole family. After dinner they brought her kids to bed and he had to tell them a story from his hometown in Italy, before they fell asleep.

When they were back downstairs in the kitchen, Meredith poured herself a glass of wine. Then she offered one to Andrew. He thankfully accepted. She handed him his glass when she began to talk „So, do you still want to know what was going on three days ago"

Andrew was surprised that Meredith started that conversation on her own. „Yes, if you are ready to talk about it"

„I think I am, but you can't judge me."

Andrew put his glass away so he had his hands free to place one of them on her neck and the other one on her head. „You know that I won't judge. Whatever it was, you can tell me"

Meredith loved it, when Andrew just focused on her, when he gently held her head to make sure that she knew that she had his whole attention. And it made her feel comfortable „I know. It's just…it didn't really happen anything. It was just a little too much that day"

„Come, let's go to the living room" Andrew suggested.

.

Meredith sat down on the couch and gave Andrew a sign to sit next to her then she took another sip of her wine before putting it aside.

„That day, Zola broke her arm. I was in surgery. That was why the Nanny couldn't reach me. The surgery took longer than expected. There were complications. In the end there was nothing I could do for him. And then Alex came and told me about Zola… I was worried, but I had people around me who looked after me and kept me busy talking to me. But when they left and I was alone in that room with Zozo… All the thoughts I had held back the previous hours came back to my mind. What if Zola had died like my patient? What would I do without her? What if something happens to my children? I knew she was fine, but I have lost so many people and just the thought of losing one of my kids… it was too much that day. I know I overreacted and I shouldn't have made you leave to get my kids…"

Andrew was surprised how much she shared of her feelings and thoughts. He knew they had agreed to let the other one know more about what was going on, but it was still Meredith who usually didn't want to talk about these things.

It took him a second to respond to all of this, one second too long, because before he was able to, Meredith already continued „And I have to thank you again. I know you don't have much time during residency, and you went to get my kids for me anyway. Also you managed to cook for us in the evening… And…"

Andrew tried to use her short break to say something. Because he wasn't sure if she would stop soon. „Mer, you worrying about your children just shows that you are a good mother and with all you have been through you are allowed to overreact" He softly smiled at her before he continued „And you don't have to thank me. I did it because I want to be here with you."

„I…" She paused „I just want to thank you, I want you to know that I really appreciate this… And…"

He managed to interrupt her again. He felt a bit sorry for that, but he had the feeling that if he let her continue he would probably not be able to say something. Also he was curious why she had the need to talk so much tonight. Not that he didn't want her to, it was just very unusual for her to talk that much. „You really do talk a lot tonight. Not that I mind. But is everything alright?"

„Yes" she had to smile. It was amazing how well Andrew knew her. Yes, they were dating for month, but he always knew what to say or to do to make her feel better. Or in this situation, to notice if something was different.

„Yes, I just had a lot of time to think about how to tell you what happened a few days ago… I…" she paused. „You are becoming a part of this family and I want you to, but you need to know that certain things and situations are dealt with differently in this one. It's..."

„Hey, Mer…" He said softly „If different means, that you are worried about your kids, that you handle situations your way and that I have to figure this out, than this is exactly what I want to do. I know your children are your first priority and I know you have your own way of getting through certain situations, but I choose to be with you and I want to be with you." „Don't worry about me" he added in a whisper.

Meredith had to smile. She was just happy to have him. She couldn't believe how lucky she was that she found someone who could make her feel so comfortable and happy again.