No Longer a Monster | Chenji

Chapter 5:

After a while of waiting on the couch, Chenle appears in the lounge with a look of disapproval. Jisung notices him as he tries to approach him only for Chenle to swat his hand away. Chenle didn't want to see him around.

'He really has the confidence to come here?! Unbelievable.', Chenle thought as he raises an eyebrow at Jisung and Beomgyu.

"... I just came here to-"
"You know... you are taking away my patience little by little... What do you want now?"
"... I want to... form a friendship again."

Jisung admits, tears forming in the corners of his eyes as he tries to not burst into tears in front of Chenle. Jisung didn't really know what to do to fix his friendship with Chenle as he tries everything that he could think of.

'He really still has the audacity to try and fix everything? We'll see about that.', Chenle thought as he looks at Jisung.

"... You're really going to try and make me forgive you, huh? What if I don't want you here? What if I don't want to be friends with you, Jisung?- I mean... your majesty, if that's how you want to be called."
"Chenle-"
"What even makes you think that we'll be friends again? For the love of God, you're the reason why Renjun's not here. You're the reason why he didn't stay long here and you should feel guilty about it forever."
"... Look... I don't remember everything you mentioned... All I remember is just... happy memories. Chenle, don't you realize that I'm feeling so stupid for not knowing what could've happened in the past?"

Jisung asks, his voice visibly breaking from the pain he feels. It felt like Chenle's heart was shattered from how Jisung asked his question. Of course, a side of Chenle wanted to forgive him but he just couldn't forget the things Jisung did, especially when Jisung gives him the same look like they were still friends.

"... What do you mean?"

Chenle asks, not looking at him as he tries to understand Jisung's side.

"... I don't remember the things that I've done since... it's a side effect from my medication and... I feel really bad about what happened but I honestly don't remember those bad things that I've done... And it hurts to see the two of us like this... I only remember the day we first met and our whole friendship history... but I don't remember the bad sides of the past."

Everything that Jisung said was true and it truly shocked Chenle. He never knew that Jisung doesn't remember all of the things that he did in the past and it makes him feel really bad. Chenle wanted to apologize but he's just so ashamed and embarrassed that he couldn't do it.

He's in fear of being rejected.

"... Alright."
"... Wait, what's that supposed to mean?-"
"Do you want to go around and talk? I'm having a thirty-minute break from my work."
"I... Uh... Sure."

Jisung answers as the two of them started walking around the orphanage, which was originally the abandoned palace that Haechan stayed in. Chenle doesn't even know why he lets Jisung walk with him, knowing that he was once a murderer.

But it felt right for him to try understanding Jisung's side.

He, then, remembers a lot of memories he had with Jisung.

~

"So now, you brought food for me to spit out whatever you want to know about elves?"
"Exactly. That's how negotiation works."
"... Fine. What's this anyway?"
"Steamed beef."
"... You kill animals?!"
"That's from the butcher across the street- Anyways, that's not the point. My servant cooked it the way you described how elves did... I hope you like it, I guess?"

Jisung shrugs, placing the food in front of Chenle as he gives Chenle a small smile. Chenle, being completely blinded about Jisung's fake acts of kindness towards him, tries the beef as he immediately found it delicious.

That was when Chenle started his love for "meat".

Because of Jisung's good actions towards Chenle, it definitely gave Jisung the opportunity to ask much deeper questions to Chenle. Therefore, Jisung easily got what he wanted because Chenle saw him as the "friendly but odd guy".

"... Look, why do you even do this? Why not just ask me about elves without giving a treat or something?"
"... Because... I see you as a good friend of mine."

Half of what Jisung most likely told Chenle was true. Jisung really enjoyed spending time with Chenle but it didn't really stop him from continuing his plan against Haechan.

Therefore, he really was manipulative once.

"... You see me as a friend?"
"Well, of course! Would I even talk to you or give you lots of gifts personally if I didn't see you as a friend?"
"... Well, I guess we're friends now."

Chenle says, taking a bite from the steamed beef as he gives Jisung a smile. At that moment, Jisung felt something like joy and it didn't come from a murder he did or something. He just genuinely felt happy because Chenle liked the food he brought him.

But that was only the start.

~

Chenle turns to look at Jisung, wondering how Jisung could smile despite him almost getting rejected. The two of them were at his office as Chenle writes more storybooks that were good enough to be given to the orphans. Despite the anger and annoyance Chenle felt about Jisung, he was still happy because he got to stay with Chenle for more than an hour.

That's something Jisung never had since last year.

"... How are you so happy despite everything?"

Chenle asks him, clearly confused.

"... Well, that's what I have to do... I have to make myself feel happy because happiness isn't something I've felt every day..."
"... I literally almost rejected you-"
"Yet, you didn't because you gave me a chance-"
"Um... No? That's incorrect. I only let you in because I wanted to see if you're still a liar like you were."

Chenle says bitterly, rolling his eyes at Jisung. This caused Jisung to scoff in complete amusement because Chenle somehow still found a way to speak to him rudely.

"As I told you, I've completely changed from being something I hate."
"... Like that can make me trust you. Bravo, Jisung."
"... I don't need you to trust me though? I only want you to understand me... just like when we were friends."
"Well, it finally came out of your mouth! We are not friends now but we WERE before..."

Chenle emphasizes the word "were", implying that he's no longer friends with Jisung.