Eros. (Benimaru Shinmon)

五十四☾

"This photo of him...was really a work of art...so much so I am shocked that he didn't beat me," I said while I continued to stare at it. I just couldn't help be enamored by the very art of a man that was carved in this photo as well as jealous.

The moment jealous rolled through me, I put the calendar down. Back when I lived in Asakusa, prior to the year before I left and he stole my first kiss...Benimaru was infamous for sleeping with the girls of Asakusa.

It brought me back to that time...

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"Why did Konro ask me to do this...he should do this..." I mumbled one of the matoi's in my hand to give to Benimaru. This was a favor to Konro...that was how I needed to see it as...nothing more.

But that wasn't the case when I saw Benimaru...and he was with another woman. I was close enough to notice the two, she was beautiful so who could blame him for being so close to her. But their closeness stopped me in my tracks and my scowl smile faded away when I saw Benimaru carrying the woman. I would have left but at this moment I just couldn't stop staring at them and couldn't comprehend what exactly was happening between them. Why the hell did I care...but also Why was he carrying her? I didn't know.

From the view I was standing, I couldn't see Benimaru's face but the way the woman had wrapped her arms around his neck was forcing me to think what I would never want Benimaru to get an idea of...and what I didn't want to.

"Benimaru, you need to be careful when going to the watchtower, you have some dirt in your hair," she said, "Lean in so I can clean it.

Benimaru hesitated for a slight moment but then leaned in a little. The woman took this opportunity and instantly place her lips on Benimaru's own causing me to inhale sharply at what I was just witnessing. My eye widened, and I froze in my place with his matoi in my hand. I blinked twice, trying to grasp what I was actually seeing. I couldn't believe what my eyes were showing me.

This guy who prevented me from joining the Hikeshi Brigade in an attempt for me to settle down...and childhood crush that had no inclination of my feelings for him was with another woman.. and they were.. kissing? Benimaru had placed his hand on her cheek and kissed her back. Their feelings were mutual for one another. I felt as if one of my own swords had pierced my heart.

Tears began to blur my vision, as I covered my mouth with my hands. Seeing what was in front, broke my heart into innumerable pieces. Not taking this anymore, I instantly laid the matoi on to the ground and took a couple of steps back before I completely turned around and ran away.

"This was something I hadn't ever expected ...I guess his reputation exceeded him past the battlefield," I thought as I wiping away the tears with her sleeve while knocking on the door of the one person I knew who could help me at this time.

"What is it?" my friend asked worried.

I instantly began crying as if my brain was being shredded from the inside. Emotional pain flowed out of my every pore. From my mouth came a cry from so raw that even the eyes of the strangers around us were suddenly wet with tears. I was anguished lamenting on the wetness of tears, inconsolably wracked with the pain of unanswered dreams and tormented times.

"Inori...come let's talk about it..." your best friend mentioned as she wrapped her arm around you and brought you into her home.

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I slide down into the water, letting it block out the sounds around me. I wish the tub would expand so I could go swimming as I used to in my private onsen back when I lived in Asakusa.

I sighed in content as the warm waters enveloped me, easing my tension and stress. I swear I am a confused being in this world but then again if answers came as easy as you would want them to...then what would be the point of all this and living.

Before I knew it, I fell asleep...