𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃'𝐒 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇┊miya twins ❞

STANZA #1

i was the type of person
that held onto things too tight
unable to release my grip
when it no longer felt right

"SEE YOU GUYS!" i wave goodbye while i stood by the other side of the door with a smile. "i'll be seeing you guys on tuesday, right? because you have finals on monday." i explained before waving once again while i turned her back to the door and walked away from their house and onto the sidewalk.

i turned around and saw that they already closed their door meaning they could no longer see me, with that in mind i relaxed my face muscles from all the smiling i did today. a bland look graced my face, contradictory to the one most people see.

who knew hanging out with the miya twins would be so tiring. i wanna sleep but i have write five more poems to send in monday and i need to study for the upcoming math test. i don't want to rely on sumi this time again for last minute notes. with osamu piecing together that i'm cupid is just the perfect cherry on top.

life is way to harsh on me.

i open my personal phone's lock screen to check the time and it was 4:30 pm, leaving me with time to do stuff before heading home. while tinkering with my phone i opened my contacts, only to be reminded of the day life turned on me.

i wonder what the view from above looks like, yuma? can you easily find me amongst the crowd? do i stand out like you wanted me to?

i hope you're able to easily spot me wearing the neon hoodie you gave me during valentines along with a bad pick up line. 'can i highlight you? because you're very important to me.' were the words written on a piece of paper in your messed up handwriting.

we truly were something, weren't we?

i'm still pick pocketing people like we would together while we ran from the police because we stole from the grocery store. i'm still hoping that this is all a dream and i'll wake up to see you beside me. i've turned delusional, haven't i?

it's so hypocritical of me to encourage people to fall in love and get together with their crushes, when i myself got hurt from loving you.

your mom gave me the knife that killed you, saying that it would be best for to have it so i can help accept that your gone and remind myself that you loved me to the point of dying for me.

i wonder what would happen if that knife was inside me of me instead. would i have been with you write now or would you have just watched me die in your hands. i know you can't give me an answer because i was too late to save you.

is it wrong to think of you after leaving a male's house and went on a 'date' with one? atsumu surely phrases things uniquely.

i'm sorry i haven't visited your grave yet, or even mentioned your name in the prayers when i go to mass. despite that, i think about you almost everyday. whenever i do something, i think of you and how you would react. are you proud of me?

but i hope you know i've meet new people and made new friends. it's no longer sumi being the only person i know, i've meet so many cool people.

one of those friends are the miya twins. do you wanna know why i'm hanging out with them? it's because they remind me of you in a sense. atsumu reminds me of your playful side while osamu reminds me of when we would mess around.

it feels like they're building around the hole you left in me. i know it's wrong and rude to only talk to them because of you and after all you've down for me, but i can't help it. wouldn't anyone be tempted to fall back unto something that feels so nostalgic.

in the end, it's so stupid of me to long for familiarity in the unfamiliar.

Q: does y/n's friends know about yuma?

A: only sumi knows about yuma and the full story !! after she got the news about his suicide she immediately called him since he and yuma were the only friends she had in middle school.