Collateral Damage

Chapter Five

The next day was my first appointment with guidance counselor. It was scheduled during when I usually had study hall.

Ms. Walker was a short, plump brunette in hipster glasses. She didn't look much older than I was; she could have passed for a college student. From the look of her office, decorated with dozens of motivational posters depicting puppies and kittens, she was definitely an animal lover. Framed photographs of her own calico cat and cocker spaniel were on her desk. They were cute, but I tried not to look at them too much. Other people's pets reminded me too much of Kody.

"So, Wendy," Ms. Walker began, "you've certainly been through a lot lately."

"Yes," I replied, trying not to sound too curt.

"I understand that you have a lot of aggression towards Bernadette McCloud."

"Yes." I could already feel myself losing patience. She sounded way too patronizing, and I was sure I knew what she was going to say next.

"It's normal for you to be angry about everything that's happened," she said. "But Bernadette McCloud—"

"Is still a victim?" I cut in. "I know that. But being a victim doesn't always mean you're sympathetic." It was one of the many things Matt and I learned from SVU.

She didn't seem angry that I interrupted her. Instead, she gave a rather thoughtful nod. "That's true."

Surprised at her cool response, I kept going. "She lied about Matt. He almost went to jail! Doesn't anybody else get that?"

"I'm sure they do," Ms. Walker said.

"No, they don't." My voice rose in frustration. "They just go on and on about horrible everything was for her! Nobody gives a damn about how horrible it was Matt! He was framed! His life was almost ruined! For all I know, it isruined! And for what? For being at the wrong place at the wrong time? Everyone's going on about Bernadette this and Bernadette that! They weren't the ones that tried to apologize to him, or call him, or send him texts or emails trying to find out how he was doing! I did, but he won't even talk to me! I lost my boyfriend over this whole mess and nobody cares! It's not fair!"

I rubbed my forehead, struggling to catch my breath. Ms. Walker watched me calmly.

"No, it isn't fair," she agreed. "You have every right to feel this way. However, you shouldn't put all the blame on her either. It isn't unusual for rape victims to lie, particularly in cases of incest. Abusers often use manipulation and intimidation to control them. The victim is afraid that if they speak out, they'll ruin their family."

"I know that," I said quietly. I'd seen it enough times on SVU. Bernadette was so afraid of her father that it took hours of prodding by the cops and a psychologist before she finally broke down and admitted that her father the one that raped her.

Of course, it had been weeks before the cops started to realize that something was amiss about her original accusation. If they hadn't figured out, Matt would have been the one in prison, not Joseph McCloud.

"Then don't you think her parents bear more responsibility for the situation?" Ms. Walker asked.

"Fine, her dad is a sick freak. But he wasn't the one that pointed the finger at Matt—she did," I replied scornfully.

"She was afraid..."

"That's not the only reason why she did it!" I blurted out.

Ms. Walker leaned forward in interest. "What do you mean by that?"