Collateral Damage

Chapter Twenty-Seven

There were no more lunches together, no more hanging out in between classes or at Grams' house, no more car trips. John and I only saw each other in English class, sitting at a very far distance from each other. It was like the past few months had never happened, that we never even met. We were just two teens that happened to go to the same school and live in the same neighborhood.

You're a great girl, that's what he had said. He probably didn't feel that way anymore.

There was no one left now, nobody I could talk to about anything. Not John, not Ana, not my parents. And certainly not Ms. Walker.

When I confronted her about calling my parents behind my back, she put on a good show, acting genuinely dismayed that they didn't want me around John anymore. "I was only concerned about the way you were handling things!" she maintained. "I never said he was a bad influence on you!"

"That's how they interpreted it," I replied coldly.

"No, that's not what I meant. You're both just so...angry." She sighed, rubbing her forehead. "It's not healthy for either of you."

True enough.

Maybe my parents were right: his problems were too much for me to handle right now. I couldn't even stand by Matt when he needed me the most. I had a lousy track record when it came to supporting friends. John had too much going on in his life for me to handle. I couldn't even stand by Matt when he needed me the most. So maybe it was better that John and I went our separate ways.

But I still missed him.

The custody hearing fell on the last week before winter break. I wanted to know Jasmine waIt fell on the last week before winter break. John was absent from school that day, leaving me to wonder how it went.

If he didn't want to be friends anymore, fine. But he knew I cared about Jasmine. He could have at least texted me one measly update.

He didn't, though. And he didn't show up for school the next day, or the day after.

On the third day, I finally caved and went to his house after school. It would be awkward and unpleasant, but I didn't care. As long as Jasmine was safe from Frances, I could handle it.

My resolve faltered when Grams answered the door with a thin, brittle smile. "Hello, Wendy."

I remembered with a sick feeling in my stomach the coldness in Matt's mother's voice the one time I dared to call their landline after Joseph McCloud's arrest. No, Matt isn't home. Don't call again.

I remained calm. "Hi, Ms. Riley. I just wanted to stop by and say hi." I swallowed. "Is...is everything all right?"

She sighed. "Not exactly." As she stepped outside, a ray of light hit her face, illuminating lines near her eyes and mouth that I hadn't seen before. She looked older, haggard.

"Oh?" I tried to sound politely interested, despite the violent lurch in my stomach.

"Yes. You see..." Her shoulders drooped, as if the news was about to utter was a heavy weight strapped to her back. She drew in a deep breath. "Jasmine is...well, she's going to be visiting her mother for a while."

"You lost?!" I clapped a hand over my mouth, but it was too late to shove my yelp back in.

Grams regarded me with a steady gaze. No shock. No outrage. "Yes," she said quietly. "We lost."

She knew. I didn't know if John told her or if she just figured it out on her own, but she knew. The whole time I acted ignorant about their family in front of her, she had known all along.