There is always hope (Arknights Reed x Doctor/Reader)

Captive of Fate

- Doctor, recently you haven't been looking too well. You know that better than me.

- ...

- I talked to you about this one week ago, as I wanted to assist you in carrying your burden. After all, I'm the source of one of your troubles, am I not? Last night, I saw some words on your screen describing the stages of Infection and ways to circumvent it.

Oripathy Development Stabilisation. Those words that had ventured so many times through The Doctor's head were always a grim reminder of  the cruelty of the world. It wasn't the first time  he had worked on something like it, but he never liked watching it pop up on his computer screen, as its meaning was unchanging.

Someone's life is at stake.

He was known to everyone as the genius tactician of Rhodes Island, a peerless commander that returned from every battle with no casualties. And this served to cultivate a fear hidden within the darkest depths of his heart.

What would happen when he lost someone on a mission? How would people react?  And in what way would he accept his failure?

He knew not the answers to these riddles, and he'd rather let them be possibilities, delaying them for as long as possible. Even so, The Doctor was aware of their inevitability. In war, lives are lost, and everyone who signs up to be an Operator knows that; nobody would blame him for what could happen in the future, and they would simply move on no matter how heavy the loss.

But as a doctor, things were different. Patients in Rhodes Island come more often than not because they have no other choice, either by being rescued from Catastrophes or from necessity caused by a sudden infection. It can be treated, but not cured.

To watch someone slowly die from something you can't prevent is to The Doctor akin to torture. He can't bear the thought, and as such always volunteered to help the medical staff whenever possible, despite the many obligations he had to abide to. To this day, it still pains him when he notices that somebody that he used to greet daily has one day just... vanished. Maybe they left the landship after confirming their treatment is done, is what he always thought.

- At first, I thought that was nothing more than one of your documents, but then I spotted some files about me. Photos and paragraphs describing my condition, and by what little text I deciphered in the midst of your scrolling up and down I could tell that something... was wrong. It concerns me still.

- Reed, let me tell you one thing: You will be fine. Please don't worry about it.

- I'm... well. To be honest, I barely feel fear of death. It's a natural instinct to be afraid of passing, but as time went on, I've grown accostumed to the fact that I will lose my life at some point, and that it won't be quietly. Either by sword or illness, that won't change.

When I first arrived to Rhodes Island, I expected to simply stay temporarily as a refugee. I planned to attend some check-ups, patch up my wounds and return to Victoria when the time was right. But you gave so much more than I could have ever imagined. For once, I wondered about when I would leave this world... and if I had any regrets.

- Please listen to me, Reed! You will survive as long as I breathe, and I swear to honor that oath.

- I never doubted you, Doctor. We made a promise, remember? That I would trust you, and in return you'd trust me. In anything and everything.

That's right. What a fool he had made of himself, telling her to believe in him only to hide things from her continuously. What other choice did he have, though? He couldn't tell her out right what would happen in two weeks' time.