Two Natures

Chapter 1

First day of high school, I was absent. I literally forgot my school shoes at my step father's house- hate the douche.

Anyways I am back at my Grandma's house, practically alone because all she does is lay on her bed and look through her window at the cars that pass by down the road.

I really can't wait for my cousin to get back from her shift at school which is almost over and it's walking distance from her school to here. The school isn't big enough to accommodate all students at once so they all get  different time to attend school.

I looked at the broken mirror of the dresser my cousin and I owned; a piece of glass really. I stared, just as my reflection stared right back at me. My thick natural roped twist hair was tied in a bun since I didn't want it anywhere else, getting in the way.

My mom did it since I didn't know a thing about combing or styling hair, she always did it when she comes from her live in work on every other weekends and I get to go home for two days to spend some time with her.

My dark brown eyes stared back at me, they didn't look sparkly with passion, drive or happiness but they didn't look lifeless either . They looked normal, just another normal girl with nothing special about her, maybe just the extra fat she carries around with her.

I pulled a smile on my plump lips but as quickly as it came it disappeared, just like that.

Sigh, I walked from the small room my cousin and I shared to my Grandma's room which was just pass the bathroom. We live in a two bedroom one bathroom house, nothing fancy just a basic need; a shelter under our heads and I'm absolutely grateful for it.

"Grandma can I watch TV?" I asked her as I looked at the white coloured streaks of hair combined with the black. She continuously lay down on her stomach looking through her window on her bed.

Seriously. This place is dead boring. Even she's bored, just lying there with nothing else to do. My whole life is boring.

Uneventful.

"No Anna, I have to pay electricity bill you know." Of course she said no, she always says no. The only time we get to watch TV is in the night for a short period of time.

I get it. She isn't working, too old for that anyways. And she always said that her money in her bank account is for her burial. Her ten children now nine since my aunt died a while back, a real badass she was - I repeat- her nine children seldom gives her money because they don't have it or the distance between them physically or emotionally or they just don't want to- just saying.

My mom gives her money every time she comes from work. I after all live with her, so giving her money is the least. Too bad my mom have to let me stay with her so she can earn money. If she didn't I would probably end up in some government care which would be definitely worst.

My cousin's Dad comes by once in a while, so you know what that means.

I didn't even respond my Grandma- No offense Grandma- but even she knows I don't like talking sometimes which causes some misunderstandings from time to time. It's like I lack the ability to make and keep conversations flowing.

Better yet, it's like my voice annoys people, soft, too soft. This is why I don't sing in front of people, I'm  more of a bathroom singer kind of girl.

I don't even know if I have a talent, I have a passion for dancing and writing. But I'm not good at it, not even in the slightest.

I like dancing because the energy flows through my body, it forces me to wake up and be happy, to put a smile on my face and move my body to the beat. That new found adrenaline that guides your body.

I like writing because I like to put my thoughts on paper. That tight grip of a pen in the palm of my hand as I create gentle strokes on paper. I also like the writing aspect of English language, the creation of short stories to grab the Teacher's attention for a good grade on a test. For me its the creation of characters and their lives.

But whatever, right?

Right now, I'm just here sitting on my bed doing nothing, just bored like there isn't even a life out there, like people aren't out there enjoying their lives and having the best time of their lives, but then I remembered a little part of a special book that I read not so long ago, a special something that always seems to capture my attention when nothing else appeared interesting or interested.

" What do you see when you look at the stars, what do you feel when the rain tickle your skin or the way the sun feels, does it burn through your very core or you only feel the warmth it gives after a cold weather. Do you see beyond the seen, feel beyond what you can feel, just let it go and let nature guide you to the path you must take, and be set free."

That gets me every time, I'll never forget it nor the others that make up that book; a book of quotes, inspiration and determination- for me anyways. Those lines always seem to regain what was lost- determination, confidence, inspiration.

Because even though I am bored, I have always been bored for years anyways, I am use to it, it doesn't even bother me anymore. I learnt to live with it. Dealt with it. So boredom doesn't have anything over me ever again.

And even though I am alone, even when I am not alone but surprisingly still alone, I'll never be lonely.

"Good afternoon Grandma" Finally, no doubt that was my cousin's voice taking me out of my depressing reverie.

"Good Day, Child" Grandma replied, I reckon she's still looking through that window of hers. Now I'll have someone to talk to.

"Hey sis"Mesha said, as she walked in our room and put her bag on the chair near the bed. She always call me her sister even if we aren't by blood, but we are that close by heart.

"Hey, took you long enough to get here" I looked at her appearance. She had on her sky blue pleated skirt, white plain school's T shirt, blue tie and black shoes which were a little dirty. Small trails of sweat ran down her dark colored skin as she let her processed short black hair loose.

"The sun is hot you know and I had to walk all the way here, plus I joined the dance club, so I was sighing up" ,That explains the sweat. Her dark brown eyes sparkled with passion. She loves dancing just like me but she's the one with the talent on that part.

"Really, clubs already?"

"Nah, I was in it from last year so they know me, just had to refresh my name so they know I'm in"

"Oh alright" As she changed her uniform to something casual I noticed the light stretch marks that her skin wore.

Moesha and I are overweight, just like the other grandkids my Grandma raised, I strongly believe Grandparents have strong urges to feed their grandkids more than needed.

"So wats up?" My cousin asked as she sat beside me on the bed with her legs up.

"Well, nothing productive nor entertaining, I was just waiting for you" I smiled.

"Did you miss me that much?"

"So much, very much, I thought I was going bored out of my mind"I hugged her side ways, still smiling.

"Aww, I love you too sis"

I didn't reply, but she knew I love her, I always will, but something about those three words always made me feel uneasy, like somehow they just weren't meant for me.