Regarding Love

Getting better at being me again.

January 19, 2015

I slap my alarm clock and blink my eyes open. It's my first day at my new job. I don't even know what I'm suppose to wear or do.

As I shower, my mind wonders to yesterday. After Kathy left, I started thinking. They hurt me intentionally. By laying in bed and moping around, I'm letting them win. I can't pretend that I'm perfectly fine but I have to start moving forward. I don't know if I can forgive either of them but I have to start trying.

I wrap in a towel and walk to my dresser. Dad wouldn't be the kind to make me wear a uniform. Maybe I should look nice but like casual. He wears pants and the company work shirt. He would let me get by with that I think.

I slip on my panties and bra first. Then a pair of dark wash jeggings and a tank top for now. I brush my hair and flip it. I put some oil and mousse in it before flipping it back over so it rests on my shoulders. I grab my blow dryer and dry my hair so I don't get sick from the cold. It waves up and looks natural. I brush my teeth and then walk to the kitchen to fix some breakfast.

I cook some eggs and slide the bread in the toaster. I walk back to Jared's room to wake him up. I open the door and see Jared laying in bed, peacefully asleep.

"Jared, it's time to wake up." I say as I softly shake him.

"It's to early for this." He mutters sleepily.

"Come on. We have work today Jare." I say with a small laugh.

"Correction. Work has been closed today. You obviously didn't answer your phone last night." Jared says and faces me.

"I turned my phone off yesterday for obvious reasons."

"Maybe you should step outside. Maybe add a few layers first." He says with a small smile.

I look at him confused and step to the window. I look out to see everything covered in a white blanket. I guess it didn't rain like they forecasted.

"Well I guess I should have left my phone on after all." I mutter.

"So crawl into bed and sleep for another 3 hours." Jared says.

"I've spent a lot of time in bed Jared." I say and move away from the window. I rest against his bed frame.

"Then turn the tv on and come play some games with me." He says with a smile and sits up.

"I've got to go clean my mess up before I do anything." I say and turn to the door.

"Well hurry up. I've got to shower anyways." He says and I hear him get out of bed.

I walk to the kitchen and fix our plates of food before washing the dishes. It wasn't much other than a pan for now. I dry my hands and fix two glasses of coffee. Jared likes his black with a little sugar. I like mine with peppermint chocolate creamer. It's hard to find year round but somehow I do. I carry it all to the table and sit down to drink my coffee.

"I'm out." Jared says loudly.

"In the kitchen." I say back.

I suppose he's getting dressed because he doesn't say anything back and it's a few minutes before he enters the dining room fully dressed.

"What smells like heaven?" He asks.

"Eggs and toast. Maybe my coffee." I say with a smile. He sits at his plate and takes a sip of his coffee.

"Let me try yours." He says and points to my coffee. I hand it to him and he takes a sip of it before smacking his lips together.

"Whatcha think?" I ask.