Faceless

Null

This is what is meant to be
It will be better soon enough
You'll get used to this
Hope...
But don't you realise that it hurts
It hurts to hope
It hurts everytime I hope
and still in the end it is taken away
It hurts everytime I dream
only to later realise that all you get is
pain.
Even more than it was before
Every time you search for the window
only to realise that it closes
Soon not even a creak of light visible
The claustrophobia now suffocating
But you're still stupid
Still the hopeless child
That dances to unknown music
and dreams like the first time
Still insane enough to believe when
the window starts to open again
You'll get the light you craved for
The same one which played you all this time

Why is what I always question
What is what I should be asking
I still don't get the point of it
I don't get why I had to dream and expect
when in the end 'it was never meant to be'
It's not what is lost that hurts
It's the "loss",
the expectations,
the maybe somedays
the it's for the best
I know someday I will look back
and think that it indeed was for the best
But for today,
it still hurts.

What's the funniest part is
how good I am
at fooling everyone
Not that I'm not happy
Not that I'm sad either
It's just the oh so bliss of ignorance
that I'm trying to master
How long will I go on like this?
No idea myself
But I'd like to think that it'd be soon
when I'd look back and say
Quote unquote
Bitch stop being so dramatic