Optimasolaris (Kirito x Eugeo AU)

Stasis

A/N: Depressing moments in this chapter.

[5 days later, Eugeo POV]

After Kirito knew about my mental health, naturally he hugged me much more often and stayed with me a lot, and we got a few more days off work so then I would get time to calm down. Since that moment I kept hearing Hayato's voice in my head, telling me to calm down, stop crying and be happy. His voice was so cute, as any 11 year old's voice should be. I felt that during that fateful day he teased me with his cuteness, hiding his tears whilst he was saying goodbye to me. His damned smile when he said something so dark. Hayato even gave a contagious laugh before he jumped. Every time I remember that scene, I just see him, and I lose it. Kirito's hugs, kisses and caresses help me calm down but in the end I'm hating myself because I knew I couldn't do anything to save him. If I went one step closer he would have jumped anyway.

Anytime Kirito was out meant that the thoughts would let themselves in my head knowing Kirito isn't there to push them back into the corner of my brain. In the space of 5 days I found myself with a multitude of self-inflicted wounds, in various parts of my body. I always have the thought that whenever Kirito sees them he won't hate me but will turn into an overprotective mother, watching everything I do to make sure I don't cut myself again. And I bet he'll be really angry when he sees a new one. I know that isn't what Kirito would do, but it isn't impossible that he would act like that.

Our neighbours were starting to get involved too, as one of my screaming fits prompted them to come knock on our door saying her child thinks there's a ghost under his bed, so I had to apologise to him. I didn't talk to Kirito for the rest of the day even though he was doing his best to comfort me. I haven't had a prolonged trauma attack like this before, and out of all the fucking things in the world that could trigger it, it's a reference to him when I was coming out to my mum. She had read the message around 3 hours after I sent it and she still hasn't responded yet, which meant she and Dad were probably still trying to process everything, or they'd killed themselves because they'd raised a gay child.

A few days into the trauma attacks I let Kirito tell all our friends for the extra support. The group chat instantly exploded with messages and they all came to our house.

[Flashback 2 days ago, Kirito POV]

Everyone arrived 10 minutes after I sent the message to the group chat. I expected this since they were great people, and whilst they were coming I tidied the living room up a bit. Silica came with flowers, and everyone had worried and concerned looks on their faces. Asuna went up to hug me, and so did Sinon.

"Where is Eugeo?" Klein asked.
"D-Don't be too loud!" I exclaimed. "He's in our room... let's wait for him to come to us. I don't want anyone disturbing him." Silica, Asuna and Alice all sat down on the sofa and Klein and Agil waited at the bottom of the stairs. Sugu, who was terrified, went up to hug me. Sinon stood beside me. There was a moment of awkward silence; it gave us all time to breathe. The silence was broken by a sound of a door closing coming from upstairs. Eugeo, who was still in his pyjamas, came down the stairs and saw Klein and Agil waiting for him. He travelled down the stairs at a faster pace, and he received an unexpected hug from Klein.
"Uh... are you drunk again, Klein?" he asked nervously. He put his hands on Eugeo's shoulders and he began tearing up.
"Klein?!"
"Stop acting like this was a surprise get together, Eugeo. We're all here for you." Seemed like Klein was the person who was hit the hardest most by this. Everyone stood up for him and went over to him to give him hugs. I was watching them all from behind, and slowly more and more people started crying. I noticed a part of his leg was showing, and there was a tiny stain of blood.

He's been cutting himself?! He's hurting himself... Eugeo...

Seeing this I turned around and bit my thumb, thinking about what images kept coming into his head and making him cut himself like this. Soon enough I started crying. I hated crying and did my best to keep the really strong emotions in, but this was Eugeo. If anything like this happens to him again I'll cry. Alice gave me a hug from behind; she too was in tears and wiped a tear on my shoulder.
"Kirito. We'll do anything for Eugeo," she said quietly. I looked at her, smiled, then broke down again. The blood stain was tiny and I didn't think Eugeo noticed it himself as you would most likely clean the blood up after you cut yourself, and I didn't think anyone else saw it either. Throughout the whole visit Eugeo fortunately didn't get another trauma attack, even when asked about what it was, but he didn't explain in detail what he was seeing. He also didn't mention how everything started. In fact he seemed a bit too normal. He wasn't opening up to everyone about some things that they'd be fine listening to. I didn't tell him that because it wasn't the right time, but he should be more open to his friends about serious topics like this. Knowing them, they're happy to hear anything. He was even the one who let me tell them...