To Be (Draco Malfoy x Emerald Black)

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Morning came and night went. It was the day we were returning to Hogwarts; it seemed an eternity I've spent away from it and I was eager to get back. More eager to be embraced my Draco than anything else.

Molly and Arthur as well as Sirius wave us all of and we headed off to Knockturn Alley. You could hear the train from miles and miles away, and sound of us returning home. The train station was bustling with chatter and people, many talking and laughing about how great their Christmas went; mine went great. Not.

Ever since Draco gave me the letter I've been taking it with me everywhere I went. I refused to let it out of my sight because I saw it as such a precious thing. I took him with me everywhere I went. I look around the station and look for the blonde headed boy I've been dying to see for the last couple days. I finally spot a familiar head of thick blonde hair and I run over, suitcase dragging behind me.

"Draco!" I wave my arms and he turns around, offering a soft smile.

"Hey, little one." I hear him say. I almost jump onto the boy as my arms wrap tightly around him. His hug he returned was looser than it usually was, and his voice had a tinge of sadness in it. I pull away and look up at him with a slight frown.

"What happened." I silently say.

He looks around and then back to me. "On the train." I nod and he takes my hand and his luggage he set down, leading me into the train and into a private cart. He shuts the door and closes the window blinds, setting his luggage besides him. I do the same with mine and fold my hands in front of me.

"So?" I press.

"Voldemort came. He asked where your whereabouts are." He silently says. "We said you went to your adoptive family, and we didn't say names." He said.

"I don't get it- why does he want to know where I am?" I ask.

"Because. He finds you intriguing. You're like a new toy to him and he has to use you until he gets bored of you. He's like that with all of us." He looks around and then smiles to me changing the subject rather quickly. "So- you like the present?" He says a little nervously.

I pull the bag out of my pocket and flash him the present. "I absolutely loved it, it was the best thing you could have ever done for me. And you?" I nod down to his ring.

"I enjoy it just as much. Thank you, Emerald." I softly smile at him and grab his hand across from mine.

"This is the scary part huh?" I say frowning. He closes my hand in his a little tighter.

"I'm going to make it the least scary for you as possible."

"It's not that Draco. It's the fact that we are letting.. you know." He say shaking my head. "I'm doing it because I don't want you to be alone. You don't deserve to be alone; you deserve to have someone. That's why I'm here." I firmly say stroking the back of his hand with my thumb. He sighs.

"Yeah. Well if you get hurt don't come crying to me, I'll say I told you do because I did. I warned you." He looks away and pulls back for me; something he's never really done.

"I know." I pull back my hands and look out the window. The blurs of green didn't seem the same; the skies always looked grey now and was covered with thick clouds. Everything had a darkness to it I couldn't explain. "I don't want to hurt you." I admit.

"Do what you have to do." He says coldly. My heart sunk.

"Then maybe I will, Draco." I get up and head towards the sliding doors.

"Em-"

"Don't talk to me please." I feel my eyes grow heavy as I hold the handle. "All I've ever wanted to do was help you." I storm out of the train cart and into the restroom, waiting out the hours I had left to Hogwarts. He will never see how much he means to me; even if I don't mean as much to him, I'd die for him just so he could understand. I wasn't so sure he would lay down and die for me anymore; he was cold and closed off. Different. It was like I was some stranger he didn't mind talking to.

I've never walked away from Draco but maybe he needed to understand that I was willing to do anything for him. But I feel he would never truly understand that; which is okay. He accepted me for who I am and that's all I could ask for.

I hear knocking on the door.

"Go." I say flat.

"Emerald." It was Draco.

"I said go." I say again. I wanted to tell him to please come in and comfort me- hug me, let me know everything will be okay. Promise me.

The only problem is is that everything wasn't going to be okay. Nothing ever will be and that is what this reality held. You can't deny the undeniable.

I hear his footsteps going down the hall, distancing himself from me. We had to go back the the Prefect rooms when we arrived, and I wasn't so sure if I wanted him to sleep in the same bed with me tonight.

A part of me knew I was being petty about this situation. I really knew that. But another part of me was acting like Draco; distancing myself so the pain wouldn't be as harsh. But was that the truth? Every moment I was away from him I wanted him. It was dumb to say out loud, but it was true. And I'd never be able to really tell him that because he never communicated how he felt. Ever.

"Arriving at Hogwarts!"