To Be (Draco Malfoy x Emerald Black)

XXXVII

Draco and I sat on the bathroom floor for what felt like hours, but it was only a few mere minutes. He held me as if he were protecting me from every harmful thing the world has to offer. My chest was burning from the water in my lungs, and my throat felt choked with tears. Hot tears. I soaked the shoulder of his shirt, but he didn't pull back in disgust. We just stayed there in silence as he held me, consoling my.. memory.

I couldn't believe it at the slightest. Sirius had to be my father, there was no way. But it all made sense, why Dumbledore was acting secretive, why someone gave me that memory.. did Dumbledore give it to me? This was all unreal, it had to be, someone was trying to scare me. That's it, someone trying to scare me into running away. The same person who is putting Cedric's voice in my head, the same person that causes my episodes. Someone was trying to make my life hell, but what if they were doing it to reveal the truth? Mum and Dad would have told me, Sirius would have told me or even Harry. What was being hidden from me?

I remember the burning images in my head. The tall boy with brown-black curled hair and piercing eyes as green as.. I shut my eyes even harder as I depict the woman once again. Her flowing hair, the fearless expression on her face as Ed her own death. As she signed her own death contract, for that child.. me. The one Dumbledore took to safety. The woman was remarkably beautiful and her face engraved into my memory. She looked so familiar, it struck a cord within me that I couldn't point out.

But here I was dodging me obvious: Tom Riddle is my father. There was only one infamous Tom that was associated with Dumbledore. And that was Voldemort. I knew my father. I knew him all along, the familiarity I felt in the tourney, the maze, in the manor.. that was because him and I were related by blood. I was a monster, I am one. There wasn't any way to deny this now. My heart seemed to drop, but I ran dry of tears. All I felt was rage and numbness. I was the daughter of the evil bastard that was trying to kill everyone. The man everyone- even me, hated. Despised. Despite being my father, he really wasn't a father. He was just a sperm donor. He never cared about me, he wanted to kill me when I was first born as I saw so myself. Who was giving me these images in my head? What were the ringing sounds? Was something or someone trying to communicate with me?

I wasn't sure. All I know is that Voldemort will never figure out I am his daughter. I don't even consider myself his daughter and I never will. He killed my mother; the woman I have been blaming for years for abandoning me. But in all reality, she saved me and my life. As well as Dumbledore. I had to talk to him as soon as possible when we got back to Hogwarts, I just won't be mentioning the vanishing cabinet to him or our plan.

My body shivers under the thin towel as Draco still holds me, twirling my hair in between his fingers. My hair is still soaking wet as it drips down my back and onto Draco. But he doesn't mind it. Despite him being so cold and putting on a hard front, he was so passionate and respectful. Most guys would have barged in and taken the advantage to look at a naked woman in a bathtub. But he's simply looked away. He cares more about my safety than himself. I knew any day he would choose my life over his and that broke my heart because I felt the exact same way and yet I was never sure and I will never be sure how to communicate it. Draco and I expressed our emotions purely through a silent void. We both clearly understood what we were trying to say. Him and I were both closed off.

Hell, now that I knew everything.. or I think I did.. him and I have a lot in common. Both coming from evil families, thrown into a life we never asked for. It all made sense as to why I was sorted into Slytherin now. The hat saw my blood line, it sees it all. From its hesitation I could tell it knew, from the way it spoke. But I had no worries at that time, you see. I just didn't want to end up like my "father" Sirius. But here I am now, and I may end up worse.. or dead.

"Draco, I..." I shiver and he turns around. He slides the clothes off of the counter reaching up, and softly puts them in front of me, still not looking at my cowering body.

"Sh, it's okay love. Put these on, then talk to me." He stands up and walks out of the door, his figure slumped. He was probably scared of me, scarred- or both. Either way he had every right to be. I look at the pair of clothes in front of me, and grip the counter as I stand up. I feel as if my knees will give out any given moment from being in shock.

The soft cloth lays against my skin now, and I grab the white bow on the counter and put it on my wrist. I smile softly but it quickly fades. How insane how everything changes in a matter of seconds.

I twiddle with the ribbon as I click open the door and step out. I hadn't bothered drying my hair one bit and now my back was cold from the wet spots. I softly offer Draco a smile but he doesn't return it. He had "no bullshit" written in his eyes. He knew I wasn't going to try and escape this. Not with him, atleast. He was sitting on the edge of the bed; I walk over slowly and place myself slightly farther than I normally sit. He stared down at the floor.

"What happened?" His big hand slowly moved to my knee. I take my finger and trace the bones and veins that popped out.

"I.. I saw something. I saw.. I saw my mother being killed by my father. Draco, it isn't Sirius; it's.." I breathe deeply and lower my voice. My heart feels heavy and beats hard against my chest. "It's Him." I spit out of disappointment and anger.

I could see him slightly look startled from the corner of my eye. His hand squeezed my knee.

"You know that doesn't define who you are as a person.. right?" He says affectionately.

"How can it not?" I look at him and squint my eyes trying to suck back in any tears that try to escape.

"Because. You're not Voldemort; you're Emerald. Emerald.. Black. Even though that's not your real last name, I'll consider it that. I've been calling you by that last name for years, that was the name- mr favorite name to say whenever you angered me." He softly laughs and his hand stroked my thigh, making trails between that and my knee. I sigh.

"You're right, I just.. what if he finds out.. Draco I'm scared." I bury my face in my hands and his hand stops on my mid thigh. I could hear him breathe out sharply. The bed shifts and his familiar embrace holds me. He pushes my head into his chest and stroked my knotted hair.

"Love. This will only be known between you and I; no one else. I swear by it." He kisses the top of my head and I feel his sharp chin rest on my head as well. I soften my hardened expression.

"Please, don't leave me." I almost whimper; I felt so weak- so weak. This wasn't me. But I was too scared to put on a strong front anymore. Not with Draco.

"I've never thought of such a thing, silly girl." He pauses for a moment. "You know- I'm not glad it was this circumstance but Bellatrix brought up a good point to me the other night before I came to rescue you. She said if you were a Black that made us blood related as third cousins-"

I snap my head up. Oh shit why did I not think of that? "You're kidding." He shakes his head, and with another moment of silence we were interrupted by each other's laughter.

Only Draco could make me laugh with such ease, making a tense situation so light. I could never erase the fear in his face in that bathroom; my heart sunk at the thought of it. I hated seeing him so.. fearful and sad? I wasn't sure what I saw but he looked as if his life was sucked out from him.

We were each other's life support.