church boys ✒ namjin

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CHAPTER THREE:
HOMOPHOBIA.

                    NAMJOON WANTED TO shrivel up and die as his parents constantly exchanged words of degradation at the dining table. The food he pushed around on his plate barely looked enticing as he heard the brutal words leaving their mouths.

"The other day, Mrs. Mina came to confess about how she caught her son staring at a magazine and getting aroused in his room. A boy magazine! Where the boys wore feminine clothing!" His father announced, voice laced in disgust like it was some time of abominable blasphemy.

Clothes don't have gender. Namjoon wanted to say. But more than that, he wanted to inform them that he had the very same magazines stacked under his bed. But he bit the devil on his tongue and continued to shoved food around his plate.

"Oh, my, honey! That's simply disgusting. Did you tell her to bring him in for cleansing or take him to the correction centre?" Mrs. Kim shook her head at her food, her features morphing into a sneer, lips curling backwards.

Namjoon felt his stomach churn painfully and he felt on the verge of throwing up. He often wondered what it would be like to come out to his parents. He knew it would never happen, not in this life, at least. But he wondered what would happen if he had accepting parents and he actually came out to them. Wondered how it felt to be loved for who he really was.

"Namjoon, honey, what do you think? Disgusting, right?"

His mother always found a way to input him into these kind of conversations. Did she not see the hurt in his eyes. The twitch in his fingers. Did she not care at all.

"Yes, Mother. Boys should only be involved in sexual relations with girls and girls alone. All else is abnormal," Namjoon replied robotically. He knew the words they wanted to hear and he knew to always say them.

"That's my boy!" His father reached over their four seated dining table to clap him on the back. "I can't wait for you to finally settle down with a nice, traditional girl. The Kyun's daughter across the street. What was her name again. . ." he trailed off, snapping his fingers to indicate that he needed help remembering.

"Sunmi," Mrs. Kim supplied with a grin.

"Ah, yes. Sunmi. She's a very respectful, smart girl. She would make for a good wife, don't you think?" His father asked, looking expectantly at his son who still hadn't looked up from his food.

Sunmi was gay. And only out in school. She had a girlfriend named Soyeon. Her twitter username was @strictlyvagina. He wasn't sure she'd make a good wife.

"Of course, father. She seems nice," Namjoon answered, still looking down at his food.

His father didn't seem to be satisfied with his answer but decided to not push it more.

"Honey, did you see that law about those people who were questioning the hand of God?" Mrs. Kim distracted her husband so his attention could go back to her. "There are people called transgender who don't seem satisfied with the gender god gave them and are undergoing surgery to get a new one. Worst thing is that this behaviour is actually acceptable in some countries!"

Mr. Kim shook his head and made a sound by pressing his tongue to the gap between his two upper teeth. "They are sinners who have not met Jesus. If they accept redemption and salvation, they will come to see that . . ."