A Queen's Pain

Ch. 4 Friends?

"We say we're just friends but neither really know the meaning cus we know we're in love & it could get a little heated"

"Queen" Dre called from the candy aisle in Walgreens while I was having a hard time picking out pads. I usually never got them from Walgreens but Dre insisted. He picked me up from my house and we were just hanging out for a bit.

"Yes Dre, Stop yelling in the peoples store" standing next to me picking out tampons was a petite woman with pale skin strawberry orange hair , with light freckles on her face. Her hair fell down her back as she ran her long fingers through it ; sighing in frustration.

I never wore tampons but I understood her frustration. "You done" Dre asked now behind me snaking his arms around my waist.

"Yeah I guess" nonchalantly I got out of his embrace making him look at me funny. I caught her eyeing Dre which was annoying me.

"someone likes what they see" I hummed snatching the pads and walking away. I know I was being petty but oh well.

His warm hand latched on to my wrist , pulling me in his embrace . "What Dre?, lets pay for our shit and leave"

"What you jealous of ?" He asked smiling , him liking the fact that I was being petty.

I chuckled "I'm not hun. No b.tch can make me jealous over a nigga I already had / have " I said as matter of fact.

"If anything we're just friends & thats all we'll ever be" the hurt in his eyes was visible but I refuse to put my heart on the line again. Sighing I asked the cashier if they had plan B. "Yeah, it's over by the pharmacy, would like for me to ring you up" he asked his name tag read Juan.

"Uhh sure it'll be quick" I assured making my way towards the back. With the help of the pharmacist I headed back placing it on the counter top.

"What's that" Dre asked growing suspicious. Juan scanned the items placing them in one bag as I handed him a crisp 50 dollar bill.

I could feel Dre starring a hole behind my head now and I knew everyone else could sense it.

I thanked Juan and headed out as Dre followed right on my heel. "You have some nerve" he spat getting into the car as I slid on my seat belt.

"Why are you mad at me ?" His jaws clenched as he drove recklessly.

"You're just all over the place & I hate it ontop of that you could've just said you were being cautious so you decided to get plan B" he spoke calmly this the bi-polar sh.t I hated.

"You choose to not use a condom" I mumbled looking out the window.

"You and I both know we were in the moment" Dre says keeping his eyes on the rode.

"Well, Fuck everything we did I hate you"

What I really wanted to say is I love you.

"You don't mean that " he pulled into Burger King's parking lot.

"How do you know what the fuck I mean?!" I yelled feeling the blood in me rush to my head.

"Because you can't just fuck me! And Say we're just fucking friends & now you hate me!" He yelled back.

"So now its just "fucking" ! " I yelled throwing up air quotations making emphasis on fucking.

"I thought we made love, you fucking asshole I hate you I swear I do" I slammed the door shut and headed inside Burger King.

He didn't chase me.

I went inside the girl's restroom & into the big stall. I stared in the mirror as tears slowly streaked my cheeks. I was tired.

Hearing the toilet flush made me wipe my tears then wash my hands. I headed back outside where Dre's car was evidently gone.

I had two words for him: Fuck Nigga .

He left, he really left.

I let my feet guide me walking in know absolute direction . My feet left the ground and muscular arms were snaked around my waist making me scream .

"Relax it's just me baby" Dre whispered against my ear putting me down. My heart was pumping a mile a minute as I punched his chest repeatedly , "You fucking scared me " I yelled as my voice cracked making him grab me by my wrists as he placed me on the wall of an alley. "Shhh calm down" he cooed as I cried holding me in his embrace.

"I promised I wouldn't hurt you again, I'm keeping my word, stop trying to be hard all the time everyone needs somebody I told you that shit" he preached still holding me.

"You did a lot of damage & I still hate you" I mumbled.

"Then let me fix it" he proposed , making us both fall silent as his heart pounded against my ear making me want to fall asleep.

I looked at him , I really looked at him. Dre made me understand why they named storms after humans. How could something so beautiful , cause so much damaged . Dre was my hurricane in disguise. How can something so precious be so harmful. He hurt me to the core. I was carrying our baby, I may have not known but still.

"Why did you leave when I lost the baby" I asked making him sigh.

"Lets go to the park where we both can sit down & talk" he offered & I agreed.

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We sat on the park bench as Miami's sun hit our skin. The children played on the play ground , some chased each other running freely without a care in the world, or accompanied each other on the swing set.

"Now answer me, why did you leave" I asked again.

"It was too much. Our relationship wasn't healthy, I had impregnated a 15 year old female, it was a disaster" he confessed watching the children play.

"And you don't think I felt the same I was FIFTEEN ! I lost YOUR BABY ! You laid your hands on me the same one who promised that he'd cause me know harm , you cheated you fucked with my self esteem, I knew about you fucking other girls that were older & prettier don't for one second THINK I don't know all the foul shit you did when all I wanted was to have you all of you love you care for you, them hoes just wanted to be able to say They f.ked you!!! why all of a sudden I'm enough huh?! EVERYBODY I did right back then shitted on me even my own MOTHER so please save the bullshit I needed you to be Man and you weren't " I screamed tears falling each time I blinked now standing up. He tried grabbing me but I pushed him away.

" I was scared . . We didn't have to be together , I wanted you to hold me down at one of my worst moments" I pulled up my sleeves, "These are scars from me placing cuts on my arms when you weren't there , I look at the scars on my body from when we use to fight & I can't help but shed tears . . how do you want me to get back into a relationship with someone who was once a monster ?" My voice now shallow and cold.

His eyes pierced with hurt "I'll repair my own wounds, & I promise I'll give everyone something to be proud of "

"Friends is what we'll only be , you can respect that or not be in my life at all" I said finally.

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*Sigh* I seriously cried writing this Queen will finally be on a slow road to recovery. 💕👑 She got this though. 👏 God gives his hardest battles to his strongest Soldiers.