AS: PZ || Minsung

Chapter 19: Relapse

⚠TW Self-harm⚠
LONG CHAPTER!!! This chapter had to be cut into two long chapters because it got too long...

    That weekend, Jisung told his parents, who ended up housing eight boys until Monday. No one wanted him to be alone with their newfound knowledge. Jisung was grateful, grateful for the distraction from his now constant feeling. There are a couple things he can do to help, but these coping mechanisms never work for too long. The feeling always returns.
    It was the middle of class, and Jisung was at his worst. The overwhelming need to hurt himself was all he could think about. He rubbed his arms and legs, but it wasn't enough. He listened to music loudly through headphones, but it wasn't enough. He closed his eyes and counted and even went as far as to snap a hairband against his wrist.
    It simply wasn't enough.
    So he made just one small, shallow cut on his wrist. Which turned into two, then three, and kept going until there were about a dozen not-so-shallow cuts on each arm. Only then did the feeling fade and the voices shut up.
    That's how he ended up in the restroom with a broken pencil sharpener in his hand. Blood ran slowly from the fresh cuts on his arms as he panicked. Jisung repeatedly forgot his jackets in the morning, today being no exception. He knew very well not to risk even leaving the stall.

    When Minho saw the plastic of what used to be a pencil sharpener on Jisung's desk, when he saw it was missing it's blade, he worried. Jisung had just asked to use the restroom, and Minho had a bad feeling. "Mr. Kim, can I go check on Jisung? I'm afraid he might be having another panic attack." Minho asked the teacher in a hushed tone. He had to make up an excuse, knowing Jisung wouldn't want anyone to know, given how hard it was for him to tell his friends and family.
    After getting the okay from their teacher, an understanding, all knowing, dimpled man, Minho left to find the restroom nearest to the classroom. Finally finding it, he walked up to the door and pressed one ear against it. Quiet sniffles and whimpers were heard, but ceased when Minho opened the loud door.
    "Jisung?"
    When no answer came, Minho went and checked the stall doors. Jisung was locked in the furthest stall. "Hey... Sungie? If you don't wanna come out, can I come in?" No matter how quiet he tried to be, Minho still heard Jisung tearing off toilet paper and throwing it away. The stall door unlocked and Minho stepped in, Jisung was crouched down on the floor, he was hiding his arms. Minho slid down the opposite side of the stall, sitting on the dirty floor, not wanting to overstep a boundary.

    Should I have called Chan? Or Changbin? Minho thought to himself. The two sat in silence, Jisung sniffling every now and then. The boy with glasses looked terrible, his eyes were red and bloodshot from crying, his nose was red from the constant wiping, his whole face was flushed a light pink from upset, and his hair was in disarray. "Sungie?" Minho spoke after a while. Jisung looked up from a very interesting spot on the floor to meet his eyes. "I need to take you to the nurse."
    Even if he hadn't seen them, they both knew he knew. "I can't..." Jisung whispered hoarsely, looking down at his now exposed arms. Minho nodded and stood up, taking off his favorite hoodie. "Minho... I'll stain it, that one's your favorite..."
    "What's more important, you? Or some piece of clothing?"
    The tiniest of smiles showed on Jisung's lips as he grabbed the hoodie. Standing up, Jisung pulled the hoodie over his head, he hissed when the sleeves grazed his arms. Minho stepped forward, looking to Jisung for permission. Jisung nodded. Minho put his hands inside the sleeves, careful not to let anything touch the others arms as he pulled the too-large sleeves over Jisung's hands. "Thank you." Jisung whispered, looking down once more.
    "C'mon, I'll get your stuff from the classroom. No doubt I'll have to head back to class, but you'll probably be sent to the counselor." Jisung wondered how Minho knew what was going to happen. Seeing the puzzled look on Jisung's face, Minho rolled up his sleeves. Taking a close look, Jisung could see the faint ghosts of scars littering the inside of Minho's wrists. "I used to self harm, been clean for years now. The school has to call your parents, safety thing. Your parents will probably pull you out of school for the day, that's what mine did."
    After telling the teacher that he was going to take Jisung to the nurse, Minho came out of the classroom with both of their bags. "Class is about to end, let's hurry." The two walked quickly through the empty halls, trying to get as close to the nurses office as possible before the bell rang. The bell rang once the entrance was in sight.
    Students rapidly filled the hall, and Minho pulled Jisung close to himself. Jisung looked up at the other in surprise, Minho smiling and maneuvering them around clusters of teenagers. Once they got to the nurses office, the two stopped to catch their breath. Rushing through, and dodging, teenagers should be a sport. The school nurse, a lovely man with broad shoulders, looked up from his paperwork.
    "Hello, I'm Nurse Kim. How can I help you?" he asked, standing up. "I'll leave it to you." Minho said, thinking Jisung wouldn't want him around for this. "Wait." Jisung said, grabbing onto the other's shirt. Minho turned to face the red-faced boy. "Can you... stay? Please? I can't do this alone..." he whispered. Minho smiled gently, turning to the nurse. "Is it alright if I stay?" Nurse Kim nodded, looking to Jisung. "What happened?"
    "I- I hurt myself?" Jisung said in a questioning tone. Nurse Kim's smile turned a little sad. "Can you show me?" Jisung held his arms out to Minho, who gently rolled up his sleeves. The nurse sighed an inaudible sigh, leading the two friends over to a sink. "This may sting, if it does, tell me." he said, grabbing a bottle of something. With a feather-like touch, he pulled Jisung's arms to hover over the sink. Unscrewing the lid, he diligently put the liquid on cotton pads and applied it to Jisung's wounds.
    A minute or two passed as Nurse Kim worked, nobody saying anything, wrapping bandages around Jisung's arms. "You know I have to tell the counselor, right?" Jisung nodded. "If this ever happens again, which I hope it doesn't, you come straight to me, okay? I'll give you the biggest hugs." Nurse Kim's tone was slightly sad, but understanding and kind. "And you." he said, turning to Minho after putting everything away. "You make sure he has everything he needs. I'm gonna call the office and explain the situation, tell them to send you with him home." The nurse winked, telling them to go sit on a bed and wait.