Open emotions

Past strikes bk

Next day sid appointed a nurse to help her around whole day in his absence the nurse was supposed to be there till he returns back
He left for his shoot kissing her goodbye and informed that he might get late as it's launch party
Sana started following him on social media since they started staying together
It was 1 am n sid was still not back
She requested the nurse to leave at 10 pm as she didn't want her to witness her anxiety n restlessness
She decided to distract herself by watching the launch updates n live streaming on one of the entertainment channels
She was shocked to see sid having his hands around the shoulders of both his co actresses n both kissing him on his cheeks n he was smiling
When asked about settling in by one of the reporters he responded " not in this lifetime !"
Before she realised she had hot tears running down her cheeks burning her inside out
She felt her emotions being not respected n being played
In that moment she knew looking at his casual closeness with other females around that he was not meant to be with her
Their worlds will never meet ! She was ,is and will always be a misfit in his world
He would never understand her emotions but she would rather be alone n living a peaceful life rather than living this nightmare everyday by seeing him the same way as he is with her
She felt betrayed n not anybody special that he claims to her
Her decision to walk off from his life was right then n is right now
She called up to fly to Canada on next flight on medical grounds the early morning
N sid lived upto her expectations very well n didn't return till morning 5 am that's when she had to leave for airport to catch her flight
She decided to leave it blank n asked Shefali to manage stuff for her in her absence without disclosing her whereabouts n she lied to her also regarding that she told her she is leaving for Punjab
Sid's POV
I had great time at the party after long I partied so hard as I had someone by my side forever to count upon thought to himself she will never leave me she can't !
I over drank n one of the costars who also happens to be one of my past flings offered to drop me home as it's too risky to go alone n when I had media attention so I agreed we sneaked away in her car
She informed that she needs to get home first then her driver will drop me
When we stopped at her place she politely offered me to come in for a coffee n told there is no one waiting that got me woken up and I denied n informed her that I need to leave as I want to sleep but she again insisted I didn't deny after two three times as I didn't want anybody to get an idea about me n Sana she has to be protected from my world
Little did I know that my world was already falling apart I had coffee n didn't even realise when I dozed off on her couch only
I woke up to her lying on me in the same blanket on the same couch where I dozed off
I woke up with horror reflecting on my face I clearly remember I didn't do anything for sure n it's not that I haven't slept next to her ever so I just left without saying a word to her
As I reached my hotel which is around 10 am I unlocked to discover that she is gone ! Gone again n somewhere I knew this time it's forever
I felt a pang if guilt inside me but I wanted to fight bk fight for us but will she believe me do I deserve her am I worthy of her loyalty n unconditional love forever when I have had my share of everything in past is it fair to her
In that dilemma I crashed to the ground n cried my heart out I want her so badly she is the only one with whom I am myself I need to be with her for my own selfish reasons !
I went blank for few hours not knowing what I am going to do now