7. Decision

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Chapter track
Let her go– passenger
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May 28, 2012
Monday

Why does everything have to be so complicated for me? If things are meant to be bad in the end then why are there good times which encourages expectations in me? How do I live like this?

I was only starting to learn and accept my life as it is then why do I need to be graced with one more opportunity of hope which I know will only turn into a complete failure in the end.

What if I lose even the little I have just for the sake of a dream which isn't even guaranteed?

I understand I can't expect a future with Aahana, she isn't mine to keep and that would be too much to ask, but I don't want to give away even the little time we'd have together by going away...

I should have known better than to let my guards down and get attached to her so much. But the past six months have been nothing but beautiful with her. I couldn't help but be addicted to her honey coloured eyes that look at me like I'm the most important person in her life, her silky brown hair, her beautiful pale skin that blushes slightly whenever she blurts out too much of her secrets to me. How could I ever spend weeks without seeing those perfect thin lips that curls into a happy smile every time she comes home to see me, how can I stay without teasing her—just to see that cute frown and scrunched up little nose, those hugs, that care— How can I ever manage to live without that beautiful soul?

Yes, she is flawless and I remind that to myself every day. I don't possess anything to be worthy enough for her. I should have resisted her instead of falling like this when I don't know if I could ever stand up again.

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Aahana: Nikhil, are you alright?

You: Yes, why?

Aahana: You seemed a bit anxious today

You: I wasn't, it's nothing

Aahana: Liar!!

You: I'm not lying

Aahana: As if I believe that

You: Okay, there is a thing but it isn't important

Aahana: That not-so-important stuff made you grumpy all day long?

You: I wasn't grumpy

Aahana: Okay, whatever

You: I had to make a decision and I've thought about it already

Aahana: Are you always gonna remain so closed off? I literally tell you everything going on in my life when you do the exact opposite

You: My parents want me to leave

Aahana: What??? Why?? Where?

You: An SCI rehabilitation centre. My dad seems to be in contact with the doctors there

Aahana: And?

You: They studied my condition and came out with a conclusion that I might have a chance to recover this state

Aahana: Then why are you so tensed? That's a good thing, right?

You: How many times do I tell you? I've had surgery, so many therapies and medications. I've given up on hope, I don't want to charge up my expectations and fall miserably, all over again

Aahana: But maybe they are right this time. You might recover for good

You: But what if I won't? Let it be Aahana, I've accepted my situation. I love my life as it is

Aahana: You can say anything but you know that it's far away from the truth. I've seen you die every day and don't you dare say no. I've seen how much you despise your situation

You: Please Aahana, please understand how hard this is for me

Aahana: And I beg you... please reconsider before it's too late. For the last time, give it a shot, please—for me—if I ever meant anything to you

You: Why don't you just bloody understand?? You're making this harder for me

Aahana: You might be able to walk again Nikhil—don't you think it's worth a shot?

Nikhil: Did you have your dinner?

Aahana: Yes, but don't try to change this topic

Nikhil: I won't go Aahana, that's final

Aahana: Don't be so stubborn, you might have a better future. Please Nikhil, think positive this time.

Nikhil: I'll think about it

Aahana: Okay. And where is that place anyway?

Nikhil: New Delhi

Aahana: Okay, at least the place is familiar to you. I really hope you'll go there

Nikhil: I'll think
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A/N: So, what do you think?

Only two chapters remain. Let me know if you like it so far.

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Happy reading, love ya...

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