Dreaming Alone | taekook ✔️

t w e n t y - f i v e

"So? How was football?" Jimin paused his video game to give the person at the door his full attention.

"Pfft. A breeze."

"Okay big guy." Jimin rolled his eyes fondly. "Whatever you say."

"Sounds like you want to play against me." Carter nudged his roommate over, arms coming around to swallow Jimin in a hug.

Jimin welcomed it, of course, being the affectionate person he was. "Are you kidding? You'd crush me." He told him, disconnecting his video game. "Also— get off me. You're all sweaty."

"Sorry." The blonde went to grab a clean set of clothes as he continued their conversation. "So you wanted to talk about something."

"I do. But you wash up first."

"Alright. Whatever you say, little guy." Carter laughed when Jimin chucked a controller in his direction. "You know you have to pay if that thing breaks."

"It's not that breakable— Go take your shower. I'll talk to you afterwards."

Carter knew he shouldn't get his hopes up. But it was Park Jimin— The Park Jimin he had had his eye on since last summer! It was a miracle they were roomed together this year, saving Carter from awkward introductions.

Jimin was far from awkward. He welcomed you with open arms, showered you with compliments and oozed good vibes. It was one of the many lovable things Carter noticed about him.

The blonde was itching to know what exactly Jimin wanted to tell him. It had been bugging him all morning, even on the field.

When he finally toweled off and stepped out of their bathroom, Jimin was curled up in the corner of his bed, fiddling with his fingers. This sudden act of nervousness from Jimin sparked curiosity, considering the fact that the pink-haired boy usually radiated confidence.

"Okay." Carter said, lying down on Jimin's mattress and peering up at him. "What's up?"

"You're lucky you took a shower before touching my bed, or I'd kill you." Jimin deadpanned.

Carter just let out a chuckle and reached up to entangle his fingers into his roommate's bubble gum locks.

"Okay." Jimin sat up straighter. "We're roomies. I can trust you to keep a secret, right?"

"Of course." The blonde answered, still playing with his hair.

"You know how everyone is like— oh this is where you should have your first kiss cause if it goes horribly wrong, you'll never have to see that person again after a month or so when everyone leaves camp?"

"Uh huh."

"I think I like someone."

Carter's hand dropped down to his side. "You do?"

"Emphasis on I think." Jimin looked down at him. "I mean, it's just a simple boy crush. Nothing big. I just wanted to talk to someone about it."

"Oh."

"Was that a I didn't know you had a crush kind of oh? Or a I didn't know you gay kind of oh?"

Carter blinked. "To be honest, Jimin—"

"You figured I was gay." Jimin grinned when Carter gave a shy nod. "It's okay. Everyone tells me that. Apparently I'm too affectionate to be a straight male."

Carter pushed himself up to a seating position, eyebrows drawn together. "You don't have to be gay to be affectionate."

"That's what I say." Jimin groaned.

"But anyway..." Carter leaned forward, heart pounding beneath his ribcage. "Who are you crushing on?"

"I don't think you know him."

Carter's spirits fell at that, his smile faltering at the edges. But did he really expect it to be him? Of course not. Who even wanted him? He'd learnt long ago that even the closest of friends can turn their back on you.

Jimin didn't seem to catch on to Carter's disappointment. Instead he unknowingly decided to worsen it. "You know Jeongguk, by any chance? That kid who wears a black hoodie like twenty-four seven?"

Carter sucked in a breath and broke eye contact, willing himself not to appear affected by those words. "Bro. You introduced us before, remember? Right outside our door."

"Oh right!" Jimin doubled up in laughter, slapping Carter on the chest in the process. "God I'm so stupid. But yes, him. That guy."

Carter could feel his heart sink through the floor, failing to keep the neutral expression on his face little by little.

Jimin frowned at him. "What?"

"So... you're planning on kissing him? Before camp ends?"

That same smile graced Jimin's features again as he shrugged. "Not if he doesn't want to, obviously."

"What do you even see in him?" Carter tried his hardest not to sound rude.

"He's cute. He's one of those people who acts all cold and disconnected when all he needs is a hug and he'll erupt into the most endearing little giggles." Jimin beamed, mind elsewhere as he stared ahead at nothing in particular. "I think it would be cute... if he lets me kiss him. But again, just a small crush." He paused. "You think he had his first kiss yet?"

Carter didn't give any input, uncomfortable with the answer that flooded his mind.

Jimin swiveled his head around, facing Carter. "You think I should try?"

"Try what?"

"Asking him."

Carter's gaze remained on the ceiling, trying to suppress his growing irritation at a certain ravenette. "I don't think that's a great idea."

"We'll see, then." Jimin chuckled to himself, falling back against his pillows. "Don't tell anyone, please?"

Carter threw his legs off the side of the bed and got to his feet. "I won't." Hastily, he unhooked his jacket and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?"

Carter turned again, staring straight at his roommate, this boy who he had loved since last summer, only to be snatched away within a few weeks.

"Jimin."

"What?"

"Do you think I'm a bad person?"

"No. Why would I? I think you're a great person." Jimin replied, his head cocked to the side.

Carter let his gaze linger for a few more seconds before he closed the space between them with a few long strides, the mattress dipping under the weight of his knee as Carter planted a kiss on Jimin's cheek.

Jimin blinked in surprise, mouth falling open.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it." Carter said, backing away.

"Carter—"

As soon as the door shut, Carter felt that prickling sensation of tears stinging his eyes, hands bunching up into fists. It was so unfair. His hatred for Jeongguk started piling up and reaching new heights.

"Why do you always get the better side of life?" He muttered through gritted teeth. "Jeon fucking Jeongguk."

And it was this rage and this jealousy that sent him in the direction of the ravenette.

__________

"jealousy ain't the way, carter"
i say as i purposefully write this

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