Dreaming Alone | taekook ✔️

t h i r t y

The door creaked open.

"Hey." Yoongi said softly, peeking in and seeing the two boys cuddled up on the floor.

Madly embarrassed, Jeongguk couldn't decide whether to bury himself closer to Taehyung and hide, or pull away immediately. But before he could make up his mind, the brunette gently helped him up to a sitting position.

"You alright?" Hoseok let Madeline in and closed the door with a faint click.

Jeongguk nodded, sniffling a little, still pressing himself onto Taehyung's body for comfort.

"Aw c'mon." Hoseok plopped himself down on the space next to Jeongguk and slung an arm around his shoulder. "Hugs make everything better."

A small smile curved onto Jeongguk's lips, and Taehyung could tell it was genuine.

Pretty soon, everyone was gathered on the floor of Taehyung's bedroom, sprawled between sleeping bags and blankets.

"You wanna talk about it?" Yoongi asked, elbow propped up from under his chin as he peered up at the ravenette.

Jeongguk could feel Taehyung's hand sliding over his before giving him an encouraging squeeze.

The ravenette turned to look at him, marveling at the way Taehyung's eyes was equivalent to the gateway of his soul. He understood every word without him speaking.

It's okay. I'm here. You can trust them. They're good people, I promise.

Jeongguk took a deep breath, one that seemed to last a lifetime before he finally worked up the courage to speak. "My mom was a lifeguard at the Santa Monica beach in LA. She worked day shifts, obviously, because there's typically no one there after evening."

The ravenette could sense the pressure of everyone's eyes on him, so he averted his gaze elsewhere, somehow finding Taehyung's.

At the end of everything, he always found Taehyung.

"Then, um—" Jeongguk felt his stomach flip at the way the brunette locked eyes with him, finding solace in those dark irises.

And for a moment, everything was intact. There were no fragments of unfinished thoughts or torn memories floating around in his head. There was just... Taehyung, and the way his fingers grazed the back of his hand.

It's okay. I'm here.
My eyes are always on you.

"This family... They decided to take a midnight swim. Stupid idea for a windy night like that one." Jeongguk continued, "My family were near the pier, getting ready to uh drive home, when they started screaming for help. Their daughter— she was swept away by the tide." His words became coarse, having never talked about the event ever since it happened. "My mom— my mom was off duty, but she went straight into the water—"

And suddenly the rest of his sentence was clogged in his throat, his chin beginning to quiver.

"—and managed to bring the girl back nearer to shore but—"

Jeongguk gritted his teeth, breaking eye contact with Taehyung when his vision clouded with tears and he dipped his head down towards the floor.

"She... didn't make it..." Yoongi finished for the boy hesitantly, hand flying up to rub his back. "Fuck, Jeongguk. I'm so sorry."

"No, it's fine— I mean, it's not but— I just—" Jeongguk blinked back his tears, willing himself to stop crying so he could properly voice his thoughts. "I feel like I've never really... healed? recovered? All of a sudden everyone started treating me differently." He gulped. "Oh here comes the kid whose mom died, gotta be nice to him. It was humiliating, really. People around me started to... change."

He gave Hoseok a sad, weak smile when the older boy hugged him tighter.

"Then I was thrown from therapist to therapist. Like there was something wrong with me. Like I needed to be fixed. Like a simple conversation with my dad could go horribly wrong."

Madeline, who had been awfully quiet the whole time, finally spoke up. "What did your dad do?"

"Avoid me." Jeongguk said wryly, "It— It hurt to be by myself... but it also hurt to be around people who can't even look me in the eye."

When he raised his head up again, his heart pounded with the realization that every person in this room was looking at him in the eye right now, without waver, nor fear or judgement.

"Well. You're stuck with us now." Yoongi said. And Jeongguk noted how softly the boy's words were verbalized when he wasn't being sarcastic (or when he wasn't bickering with Madeline). "No more being alone."

"Hell, I don't mind having a sleepover every single night if it makes you feel better." Hoseok humored.

"Oh god." Yoongi jabbed a finger in the boy's direction like he suddenly remembered something. "This guy sings in his sleep." Hoseok started giggling. "So you guys are gonna have to deal with that the same way I had to deal with it for the past week."

"It hasn't been a week." Hoseok pointed out with a pout.

Madeline got to her feet and started rummaging through the items on Taehyung's desk.

Jeongguk felt his shoulders slump with relief, thankful that Yoongi and Hoseok took the attention off him, allowing him the space to breathe. Someone's hand engulfed his cheek and he turned to Taehyung.

"That why you keep calling yourself a sky person?" The brunette asked, caressing his face.

Jeongguk shrunk back. "I don't know what I was thinking. It sounded ridiculous, huh?"

Taehyung performed a little snort of laughter. "Yes. But I understand now."

The ravenette looked up at him sheepishly.

"You're so brave, you know that?" The brunette smiled— smiled with this pride that reminded Jeongguk of his mother. Then his expression changed to something more serious. "We'll make you a new pendant or something, okay? I know it's stupid and... it's not the same. Really. But I'm worried you'd have another panic attack without something to hold on to..."

Jeongguk just nodded, this sudden feeling of emptiness washing over him as his hands drifted up to the spot where the necklace usually hung. But Taehyung caught his hand before it could reach its destination, interlacing their fingers midway, saving him from further pain.

"You said my sleep-singing was cute." Hoseok's pout was deepening, his entire body leaning towards his roommate.

"I said it to make you shut up." Yoongi said in his defense, but he was grinning.

Madeline rejoined the circle with a piece of paper torn from a notebook, scribbling bold letters in marker. The others paid her no mind.

M T Y J H

"Admit it." Hoseok carried on, "You think I'm cute."

Yoongi made a face, then turned to look at Jeongguk and Taehyung. "Are you hearing this guy?" He remarked.

Madeline was in her own world, humming as she continued writing.

H Y T M J

"What're you doing?" Taehyung asked curiously in an attempt to escape Yoongi and Hoseok's banter.

__________

i'm alive

i apologize if that was an awkward place to end the chapter (?)
i accidentally wrote like 2000+ words and decided to cut it in half lmao

jeongguk's mom.
i'm sure y'all already guessed it :,)