Anxiety & Apathy: A Collection Of Poems

Gaslighting

I wish you'd drop the niceties
And tell me you wished I was dead.
Don't be afraid of what you're not supposed to say,
Just tell me what's happening in your head.

Give me permission to release the bullet.
Load the gun, I'll cock it and pull it.
Prepare the poison so I can throw it down my throat,
Tie the rope, kick the stool and watch me as I choke.

I'm just a misery,
Sucking the life out of you like a hail storm drain.
I could be history,
Just put me on death's list and call out my name.

You're holding onto me
By saying you're sorry
Every time I fuck up.

Just let me go,
Let me leave you alone,
Tell me you've had enough.

You wouldn't be at fault if I died.
I promise you, this is not another manipulation
Through threats of suicide.
I'm a liar who has never told a lie.

And when my note is signed in blood,
It'll be in your handwriting.
Your innocence will be stained,
And your reputation will be residing.

I painted your portrait with a gaslight,
And I made you the fairy-tale villain.
Now you'll burn in hell on earth
And I'll get to live in death as your victim.