ATARAXIA • BELLAMY BLAKE

[ 2 9 ]

Raven's pained screams paired with her flesh burning makes me cringe. My hand aches from her squeezing it with all her power, and I momentarily regret having offered it to her. But she's in much more pain than me, so I let her squash it as much as she needs. She eases up a bit when Clarke removes the scorching hot knife that she had pressed against the bullet wound in Raven's hip.

Clarke puts the knife away on a tray at her side. "That should stop the external bleeding."

Raven is laid out on a table in the middle of the drop ship, a rug under her to lay on and a pillow to support her head. Opposite of me, on the other side of the table, Finn is holding her other hand.

"I don't understand," Finn mumbles. "How did Murphy get a gun?"

"Long story," Bellamy's rough voice says from next to me. I look over and we share a look until Raven's pained groans pull my attention back to her.

"We got lucky. If Murphy had hit the fuel tank instead of me, we'd all be dead," Raven says through gritted teeth.

"Wait, there's rocket fuel down there?" Clarke perks up. "Enough to build a bomb?"

"Enough to build a hundred bombs," Raven's weakly says, fresh sweat beading on her forehead. "If we had any gunpowder left."

"Let's get back to the Reapers," Bellamy says, changing the subject. "Maybe they'll help us. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, right?"

"Doubtful," I comment, earning a small glance from Bellamy before he turns his attention back to Clarke.

"Not this enemy. We saw them. Trust me, it's not an option."

Finn and Clarke had managed to explain a bit of what had happened to them while they were gone while we were preparing to cauterize Raven's wound before.

They had told us how they'd been taken hostage by the Grounders and Clarke was blackmailed to heal an unsavable child in return for Finn's life. Luckily, not all Grounders are like Anya, that same Grounder woman from the bridge. Lincoln had been the one to save them — multiple times even.

And then they'd briefly told us about their run-in with the Reapers, who they explained to be an extremely erratic group of grounders. Finn was forced to kill one in order to save Clarke in the tunnels they had escaped through.

"There's no time for this," Finn says, looking seriously at Clarke. "Can she walk or not?"

"No. We have to carry her."

I nod and let go of Raven's in order to get a good hold to help carry her. "The hell you will. I'm good to go," Raven says while smacking my hand away.

"Hey. Listen to me. That bullet is still inside you." Clarke leans over the table to properly look Raven in the eye. "If by some miracle there's no internal bleeding, it might hold until we get somewhere safe. But you are not walking there, is that clear?"

"Yeah," Raven caves and then Finn announces that he'll fetch a stretcher for her.

"Can't run away fast enough, huh?" Bellamy snaps at him. "Real brave."

"Dying in a fight you can't win isn't brave, Bellamy. It's stupid," Finn argues.

"Spoken like every coward who's ever run from a fight."

"Well, what do you want?" I ask Bellamy. "For our people to die? And for what, pride?"

"Of course not," he says, crossing his arms.