ATARAXIA • BELLAMY BLAKE

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Absentmindedly tapping my finger on the table, I hold back a defeated sigh as I share a tired look with my friend sitting across from me. It's late. I should get going soon. I trace a scratch in the metal that I accidentally caused half a year ago when I had dropped a glass, shattering it.

"Thanks for having me over again tonight," I tell him gratefully. Today had been particularly dreadful and his company always seemed to make me feel better.

Jaime nods, tilting his head to the side a bit as his eyes meet mine. I look back down at my finger. "You know that you're always welcome here, Freya."

I catch the slight smile on his lips out of the corner of my eye but his voice had sounded almost apologetic. When I look back up, his eyes seem to have a glint of something in them. I send him a grateful smile of my own.

Hanging out with Jaime is pretty much the only thing that's getting me through the day at this point. With my job driving me insane with its boring, long hours, it's nice to have someone to talk to at the end of the day. Dinner doesn't hurt either. Jaime is a great cook, somehow - how, I have no idea. His job is even more tiring than my own, but he still manages to make me something delicious most nights of the week. The thought of him maybe doing it out of pity has crossed my mind numerous times, but I've reached the point where I don't really care anymore. I'm no longer too proud to accept pity food. Not when it's this good, anyway.

After a moment of silence I push back my chair and get up from my seat, grabbing some dishes before walking towards his sink. Helping him clean is the least I can do.

"I won't be able to have you over tomorrow, though." He grabs a few dishes as well on his way towards the sink. "I'll be working all day."

"Yeah?" I cast a glance over my shoulder, setting my cup off to the side. I then grab the plate from his hand to wash off as well. "Work other than just the usual inspections?"

Jaime doesn't answer right away but lays a hand on my shoulder, turning me around to face him. I send him a narrow-eyed look of question at his action.

"What I'm about to tell you can't leave this room, okay? I'm not even supposed to share this."

His tone alarms me, but I nod my head nonetheless, silently agreeing to keep quiet while urging him to go on.

"They're sending the delinquents down to the ground. All one hundred of them."

I suck in an audibly sharp breath. "The ground as in Earth?" I ask, just to clarify before I inevitably freak out completely. Jaime nods, and my freak-out ensues. "But it's not survivable yet, not for another hundred years. Why would they-"

"I don't know," he cuts in. "I'm only doing what I'm told, and what I was told was to help escort them to their drop ship tomorrow before launch. It's all hands on deck."

My hands reach behind my back to hold onto the counter, and I lean against it for support. Octavia is being sent to the ground. Tomorrow. Worry morphs into determination, and the look on my face gives away enough of my thoughts for Jaime to object before I can manage to move another muscle.

"No—"

"I have got to be on that ship." I push myself off the counter to go to the door, but Jaime is quick to grab my hand and stop me before I can get too far.

"Hey, you just can't, okay?" he almost pleads. "For all we know you'll all die the second you set foot on the ground."

I look at our hands and then at him with disbelief. "Octavia has been alone in everything she has ever gone through, no matter how hard her family and I tried being there for her," I say, only pulling my hand away from his grasp to take a step closer towards him. "I have to be on that ship, Jaime. And even if everything goes south, I would have at least made sure that she won't die alone, too."