ATARAXIA • BELLAMY BLAKE

[ 3 4 ]

It doesn't take long before I'm completely exhausted. I try to keep going, but at some point I have to slow down to a walk. My legs are too weak and wobbly to carry me at that speed.

And that's when I see him. He's carrying what looks like a dead boar in one hand and a sack of what I guess to be more herbs and maybe some berries over his shoulder. He doesn't see me at first, but I guess my immediately running in the opposite direction tips him off, because when I look over my shoulder he drops everything to the ground and sprints after me.

I try to speed up my pace, but my feet can't physically carry me any faster at this point. Still, I'm nowhere near a match for him. In a matter of seconds he tackles me to the ground and we tussle on the forest floor until I hack him in the leg with the axe. But it goes in so deep that I don't have the power to pull it back out, so instead I jump back and wait for his next move.

He's more pissed than I've ever seen him as he yells out in pain and pulls out the axe. I'm not sure if it's the giant gash in his leg or the fact that I used his beloved axe that makes him go all red and veiny in the face, but he soon advances towards me with a dangerous look in his eyes. Only he doesn't get far before an arrow goes straight through his skull. I watch in shock as the axe falls from his hand and he drops to the ground, snatching the arrow in half like a twig when landing head first.

I don't allow myself even a second to feel relieved before searching for the new enemy. Only Grounders use bows and arrows.

I quickly pick up the bloody axe from the ground and wait for the person to show their face. A teenage boy jumps out from in between the trees. He strides toward me, looking all victorious from his kill, but when he gets closer his face drops.

"Skaikru," he spits at me before swiftly catching an arrow in between three fingers, placing it on the string of his bow. Me must have thought I was a Grounder at first with how beaten up and dirty me and my clothes are.

"Wait," I say just as he's about to let it go. I decide on doing something that may either defuse the situation or be the death of me and drop the axe on the ground. Then I kick it further away from me and walk a few steps to the opposite side for good measure.

He eases up the bow the slightest bit. He's just a kid, just how violent can he be if unprovoked? The answer may be 'very', since he's a Grounder, but I have no other choice but to give him the benefit of the doubt.

We stare at each other for a long time, each of us awaiting the other's next move. But he doesn't seem like he's gonna shoot me.

I struggle to figure out what to say. Then I quickly look down at myself and notice how I have the other Grounder's blood all over one of my arms from before. I decide to take a chance and play the blood off as my own.

"You wouldn't happen to have any spare bandages at hand, would you?"  He doesn't seem to find my feeble attempt at diffusing the tension that amusing. "You look young for a warrior. How old are you?"

At this point I'm just assuming he speaks English, because I'm as good as dead if I can't talk or explain my way out of this.

"Old enough," is all he says.

"Okay." My voice is rough, and I realize this is the first time I have spoken in three days. Getting a better look at the boy, my guess is he's somewhere around fourteen or fifteen years old.

"Well," I say sheepishly. "If you're not gonna kill me then I'll just try to find my way back to my people. Bleeding out alone in a forest isn't exactly on my agenda for the day." It's getting hard to keep things light hearted when there's an arrow pointing right at me. But I'm not about to make the wrong move and initiate a fight. Even if I had any ounce of energy left in me to take him on, I could never kill a kid, not even in self defense.

"You're alone," he says rather unexpectedly.

"I know, it's a long way back," I say without knowing if that even is true. I still have no idea where I am and I could have run even farther away from our camp when escaping the cave for all I know.

"No. Your ship. It's empty."

"What?" I say, talking to myself more so than him.

"It's where I came from." I can tell he's refraining from saying why, which can only mean that he had gone there to kill them all and avenge his people.

Maybe they did end up leaving to go find the ocean after all. Now that I think about it, I don't know why I ever thought Clarke would want to stay after everything. She wouldn't want to rebuild our camp on top of the dead bodies of our enemies. I can only imagine how it must have looked when they all stepped back outside after the blast and saw all of those burned corpses, only I don't want to.

I take a step backwards to test the waters, but he doesn't move to stop me or raise his bow again. He just watches. I send him a look of question, wordlessly asking if that's the end of our interaction and he lowers his bow. I take that as my cue to leave and turn around, but then I pause.

"Oh." I spin back around to see him still watching me cautiously. "That guy," I say, gesturing to the dead Grounder at my feet who I'd somehow completely forgotten was there. "He caught a boar and dropped it somewhere over there." I point in the general direction he'd come from and the boy follows my finger with his eyes. "You should take it home with you."

It's a small thank you for not killing me, but also somewhat of a peace offering. The boy nods, and I think he's about to go look for it when instead he pulls a bag off his shoulder and starts rummaging through it. A couple of seconds pass until he pulls out what looks like two big leaves that are each wrapped around something.

Then he carefully walks over and gives them to me. I look him over, searching for any clues that this may be a trap of some kind. I've only ever had bad experiences with Grounders. And after the last one...I don't feel safe to let my guard down. He sees my doubt and carefully unwraps the leaves for me, revealing some nuts inside one of them and berries in the other.

My eyes light up at the prospect of food and it takes everything in me not the shove it all in my mouth as soon as I realize what it is. I look back down at the boy and offer a smile. "Thank you."

All he does is nod before reaching down to take the other Grounder's axe. But instead of leaving like I'd expected him to, he carefully starts to cut off both of the leather cuffs around each of my wrists. The remaining short lengths of chains still attached to either of the cuffs rattle when they drop on the forest floor.

Then, without another word, he walks back over to where he had dropped his bag to pick it back up. Then he heads in the direction I had pointed him to without sparing me another look.

I don't leave right away. I stay exactly where I am and finally look down at the dead body just a couple of feet away with me. The Grounder's mouth is open, blooding trailing all the way down his chin and onto the ground. His eyes are closed, but I they're clear in my mind.

I jerk when something hits my cheek, stepping back to see what had hit me. When nothing jumps out of the bushes, I touch a finger to my cheek. The year runs down my finger and I dry it off on my pant leg. Another tear trickles down my cheek, and then another. I use the back of my hand to wipe them away.

I quickly walk off. I need to get as far away from this place and what has happened here as I can.

wanting to be caught by another Grounder next to the dead body. Because with my luck, the next person would be that man's brother and I'd find myself in deep shit yet again.

I pop a few berries into my mouth, but make sure not to eat everything he gave me all at once. Then I stop dead in my tracks and look at my surroundings. Where the hell am I supposed to go now?