Deep Blue Temari

CHAPTER 4 (Part 1)

A bouquet of flower sits still on passanger seat in the back.

I'm on my way to the place that i wanted to visit. That place, is a hill that have a beautiful ocean view.

When i arrived, it was rain unexpectedly. The heavy one.

But i don't care with the rains.

I take the flower bouquet, open up my umbrella, then walks entering the place—the cemetery.

I walked past the neatly lined gravestones. After awhile, i stopped in front of grave under a big tree.

'S. ODA' is curved on the epitaph.

Below the epitaph there is already a flower bouquet. I know right away. Dazai-kun must've been here before.

Because beside the flower bouquet, there is a photo of three of us.

That wouldn't be no one else.

I stood silently and lowering my head. The feel of guilty and regrets is attacking me.

"For this justice we need to sacrifice everything."

Is this what you called by sacrificing, Director?

I feel awful.

It is my fault.

This is all because of me.

I should've not let myself live a life as a pawn that taking orders for justice.

I should've not letting Dazai-kun and Odasaku-san making friends with me.

I hope, i should've died in the bomb explosion.

No.

I should've executed before i joined the mafia. So Dazai-kun and Odasaku-san will never meet with this traitor. So none of them will be hurts, none of them will be victims.

So this future will never exist.

I approached Odasaku-san's gravestone then bow to place the flower bouquet beside Dazai-kun's bouquet.

"Odasaku-san... " I said. "I'm sorry.... Please forgive me"

I stared to the epitaph.

"You have gone. What shoud i do now?"

"Can you hear me, Odasaku-san?"

I'm mumbling to the silent epitaph in front of me. Frustrated.

I closed my eyes.

What am i thinking? Of course he's not hearing me.

"I hear you crying, Ango."

"I'm not crying!"

JTAAAAR!

A big thunder opened my eyes.

I look around.

Just for a moment, i feel Odasaku-san's was beside me. But there is no one. It's only this silent epitaph.

A thought came to my mind just after that.

This future...

Would the future change if Dazai-kun and Odasaku-san never meet with me?

What if the future will stay the same?

Every each life of a person must have a meaning. That is what i believed.

So there is must a meaning behind my meeting with both of them.

I stared to the photo which is already wet by the rains.

Just what's the meaning of our meets?

Not only for me to betray them, but is there something I can do for them?

I lift up my face and turn to see the ocean view.

Before i realized, the rains was already gone. Now the light of sun is shining through the clouds.

There is still something i can do for them.

Yes, at least for one of them.

For Dazai-kun. *****