Pixie, First Daughter of Anarchy: Book 2

Moving Forward

Pixie and Jax walked into the hospital lobby and headed for the elevator to go up to the ICU department so Pixie could go back to Chibs. The longer she stayed away the more it hurt and more than anything, Pixie just wanted to hear Chibs' voice again. She wanted to see the sparkle in his eyes and the happy grin he got when they messed about together, she wanted to feel safe in his arms and feel the way his weathered hands rubbed her back when she was scared. Pixie wanted to be able to smell Chibs' calming scent again too, she knew he used Irish soap and always put on 'Taylor of Old Bond Street Sandalwood Cologne' every morning. It had lavender, thyme and rosemary in it as well as white jasmine, cyclamen, subtle spices, woods of various kinds, musk, and amber. It was a scent that put Pixie at ease and was so comforting and she was glad at least some of it had stayed on his jacket, just so she could have some of his presence with her whilst her mind descended into chaos. Pixie hadn't felt this lost since the massacre, nothing in her world made sense anymore. Things felt weird between her and Tig, for the first time ever she felt upset with Happy, Opie seemed hellbent on trying to snitch on Jax and Pixie to Clay, Chibs was in critical condition, the club was under multiple threats from Clay's thirst for revenge, Zobelle wanting to take them down, and the possibility of Jimmy dropping in. In the back of her mind, she was trying to piece together why her birth certificate was fake and why her blood wasn't compatible genetically speaking with Bruce's.

Jax pressed the button for the elevator and looked at the vacant way Pixie was standing next to him, she was staring at a poster for diabetes on the wall next to the lift, and Jax was pretty sure she wouldn't even know what the poster said if he asked her. It was like her body was there physically, but Pixie had checked out and gone away.

"Kid?" Jax asked, putting a hand on Pixie's shoulder, she flinched for the first time in almost a year, surprised by the contact and looked up at Jax blankly. "Don't tap out on me just yet, Piglet, we're gonna fix this. We're gonna fix all this shit." Jax begged, trying to comfort her. As selfish as he felt, Pixie was the only other Son Jax felt he could rely on right now, and if she stopped fighting, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to continue either. It wasn't like Pixie to just give up, and Jax was confident that she wouldn't, she just needed a break for a little while to get back to feeling more like herself.

Pixie blinked a couple of times and nodded stepping into the elevator next to Jax. When the doors closed, he put his arm around her and felt Pixie cuddle into his chest. "I'm never gonna tap out on you, Jackie, I love you too much. I just don't know how much more I can handle." Pixie mumbled into his kutte. "I'm sorry."

Jax hugged her tightly with both arms and kissed the top of Pixie's head. "Nothin' to apologize for, you're human, Piglet. I love you, sister, you're always there for me and I'm always here for you too." Jax crooned. When the elevator doors opened, he led Pixie out before letting go and stooping a little bit. "Hop on, darlin'." He told her, seeing Pixie smile just a little as she put her hands on his shoulders and jumped onto Jax's back. He caught her easily and then spun around suddenly, causing Pixie to hold on tighter and a little giggle to escape her lips. Jax heard it and relaxed, seeing the little sound as being a sign Pixie was still in there and would eventually be okay. Jax chuckled too, doing a little jump just to tease Pixie more, feeling the tension in her ease slightly.

"You're a goofball, Teller." Pixie teased, resting her head on his shoulder and smiling a little more. Jax readjusted his hold on Pixie and then carried her down the corridors she pointed to in order to get to Chibs. Jax wasn't entirely sure how Pixie had memorised the labyrinth of corridors for the ICU section, but he guessed spending thirteen hours alone in the hospital meant she'd had time to do so. Sure enough, Pixie was able to lead them in the right direction as Jax talked about lighter topics, trying to pull Pixie out of herself, which seemed to be working pretty well from the way Pixie's answers were becoming more optimistic and interactive, but it still felt like someone had taken all the energy out of her. When they reached the room, Pixie slid off Jax's back and opened the door before freezing in surprise. In the room sat Gemma, Lyla with Abel on her lap, Donna, Juice, Charlie, Piney and Half-Sack in a hospital wheelchair. They were all sitting in a semi-circle just chatting amongst themselves quietly and looked up when Pixie and Jax entered.