Don't Deserve You | Drarry Fanfic ✓

Chapter 9: Impossible

I'll never stop trying because when you find the one, you never give up.
-Crazy, Stupid, Love

Draco's POV

I hated myself, I hated life, I hated everything... except Harry. He want to be friends... friends... I don't think I can ever be his friend when I hold such strong feelings for him. It will only hurt me more if I spend more time with him.

I can't take it. I wish he'd just leave me alone but at the same time I want him to come to me, say he wants me, say he loves me, say that he can't live without me.... but it would never happen and even if it did, he deserved better than a ex-death eater that deserved to rot in Azkaban for life.

Thinking about this brought me back to the day of the trial, Harry had defended me and my mother. It was thanks to him that we were let go with such mediocre punishments. I'll always be grateful that he defended me and my mother, especially my mother. I loved her, a lot. I know she couldn't do much to protect me from voldemort and my father but she always tried her best to help me emotionally, if not physically.

But sometimes... I wished that Harry didn't defend me. I wished that he'd tell the wizengemot that I was a git. That I was selfish. A prick who only knew how to hurt others. I wished he would have said that I wanted to be a death eater,even if I didn't. I wish to rot in Azkaban because of the horrible and selfish prat I am.

I sighed and sat up from Blaise's bed that I was sharing with him. We made up and he offered to let me sleep with him after I told him about everything. He was supporting to say the least and I really appreciated him for being so kind.

The Weasley promised to keep his mouth shut about where I slept after a lot of convincing from Blaise.

My nightmares have just been worse and Blaise and Weasley were always there to get me out of it. You know, now that I've been talking normally with Weasley instead of clawing at his throat.. he's not too bad. We still don't talk outside of the dorm and act like strangers but I'm totally fine with that. He'd sometimes give me info about how Harry's doing and... he's not doing that well apparently.

I tried to get my head off of Harry which was pretty much impossible. Sighing deeply, I tried to sleep and I tried to stop myself but I couldn't not think about the raven haired boy that kept invading my heart.

For once, I smiled before I slept.

"Malfoy, you better get your arse up or you'll miss breakfast." I heard the annoying voice of Weasley and groaned as I checked the time with a tempus charm. 7:34am.

"Weasley, are you joking? It's only 7:30." I said with my morning groggy voice as I got up from bed with a frown.

"I know but you wouldn't wake up." He said as he fixed his tie on the mirror. It was messy to say the least. I rubbed my eyes and walked over to him, fixing his tie, so it'd look more neat.

"Thanks, Malfoy." Weasley said as he checked the tie in the mirror.

"Learn how to put on a damn tie." I said as I walked to the bathroom, not really waiting for a reply. I shut the door and started on a quick shower before brushing my teeth and putting on my school robes. I parted my hair and gelled it, so it will stay.

I checked myself in the mirror one last time before leaving the bathroom to a waiting Weasley.

"Finally you're done." He said as he stood up and I gave him a weird look.

"Why are you waiting for me?" I asked and he shrugged before picking up his bag and tossing mines to me and I swiftly caught it.

"Nothing, let's go." Weasley said as he opened the door. I shrugged too and followed him. We walked together to the great hall.