Cinders [Completed]

Chapter 47: Mark

When I realize it, I start pacing.

It seems stupid that I hadn't thought of it before. I mean, we'd had almost an entire month to prepare, and the formal introduction is next week. I should've really considered it earlier.

I'm not marked.

I thought it would have just happened. I mean - there was every opportunity -

But I know Orion, and he never would have unless he asked, first, and there wasn't exactly a lot of conversation when we -

I sit down. It's not awkward, like this, with Orion, but I still get all blushy thinking about these things.

And goddess, I really, really don't want to talk to him about this. For a long list of reasons. I shake my head, avoiding that train of thought. I don't need to have a breakdown about self worth, now.

Orion is the most reasonable person I've ever met. I'm sure he already sees the necessity - he probably just hasn't brought marking up because he doesn't want to feel like he's rushing into everything. It's the most Orion quality ever. I'm sure that once I mention it, we'll just - get it out of the way. No need for pomp and fanfare.

This is how I find myself in Orion's office early in the morning. He smiles when I walk in, like it's a pleasant surprise, even though we often visit each other.

I return his greeting the best I can, pretending that I'm here for the book I left here yesterday - one that Nokomis recommended - while I work up my courage. Then, I turn in the middle of the room so that I face Orion at his desk head-on.

"I have a proposition," I begin.

Orion raises his eyebrows.

"So," I start, swallowing nervously, putting the book back down on a coffee table, "so, the formal introduction is in a week."

Understanding lights in Orion's eyes and he bites his bottom lip. I feel a swell of relief. He had been thinking about this, too.

"Are you worried about meeting everyone?" he asks, "Or about the security? We can reschedule. There's no rush."

Ah. Never mind, then. I almost want to say yes, yeah, that's it, but this is Orion, for crying out loud, so instead I brace myself.

"No. I mean - yes. I mean, that's not what I'm here about."

I take a breath. Why am I so nervous?

"I want you to mark me."

Orion jolts. He stares at me, unable to disguise his confusion. His eyes jump around the room.

"This - " his voice catches, and he has to clear his throat, "this is sudden."

"I can't be at the Introduction without being marked by you," I explain simply.

At this, the light shifts in his eyes. He leans away from me, searching my frame. His lips tighten. Something like discontent crosses his brow.

After a moment of silent scrutiny, he speaks.

"No."

His tone is final.

My spirit sinks.

"Okay," I whisper. I sway for a moment, unsure. And then I move towards him, release the breath, and sit down in my usual seat.

I pick up my book and pretend to start reading.

Orion seems offended.

"You won't ask me why?" he asks, staring at me.