Cinders [Completed]

Chapter 36: Stronger

I can't tell you exactly what happened.

The announcement goes by so fast. I give my speech - and I think it goes well, and I don't stutter even on the worst parts when the reporters look aghast and scandalized. But then that reporter asks that question, and then more just keep coming, in an overlay that seemed a million voices loud, and then the announcer's voice takes over and Orion and the Queen and King are calmly walking beside me back to the palace doors with our guards.

The questions from the reporters seem to echo off the walls.

You can't transform at all?

I'm shaking.

Are you sterile?

Goddess, goddess, goddess -

Are you able to produce an heir, Princess Lee?

The door closes behind us.

Won't that pollute the alpha bloodline?

I scratch at the scars on my hand.

Did the Prince know?

Are you sterile?

Sterile

Sterile

Sterile

"Lee," Orion says, "Lee, it's alright."

I exhale. I step away from him.

"Good, good," I say quickly, folding my hands tightly together to stop myself from making my reddening skin worse.

Sterile, sterile

I've thought about it before. I must have thought about it before. But it had been so long - so long since I thought about it.

And now the word seems to batter my skull. Sterile.

When I look up, I'm surprised to find the entire Royal family looking at me. Orion, in unveiled concern, the King in tentative caution, and the Queen in something like understanding.

I smile a little too enthusiastically. "How did I do?" I ask, my voice pitchy.

Orion inhales, but before he can say anything, the Queen speaks up.

"Perfect," Queen Nokomis says, stepping towards me. Casually, she puts her hands on my shoulders and carefully walks me down one of the corridors, away from Orion and the King.

I'm relieved she's taking me away from Orion. I need a moment away from him, but I don't want to be alone. I think. I don't know.

But when I'm not looking at his face, it's easier to pretend like I'm not ruining his life.

"Lee," Queen Nokomis continues as we glide along the hall, "I was hoping to meet with you tomorrow bit. I have some business to finish and I would love the company. Would it be okay if you met me in my office at 9?"

The fact that she's talking so calmly, as if what just happened didn't happened, also helps me calm down. My voice is nearly even when I reply.

"Of course, Your Majesty."

We keep walking in a tentative silence. I realize that she's taking me the long way to my room. For a moment, I admire her profile. She looks so calm, so sure. Strong. I want to be like that.

I will.

I hope.

"My announcement," she says softly, "went much worse. My pack had been threatening war for an entire year before Alaric and I met. The only reason he had come was a last attempt at a truce. For appearances, of course. Alaric's father wanted war as badly as mine did."